Starting Over
by Baby Jefer
Summary: Read about life with Satine and Christian after Moulin Rouge - changed after chapter 2. Sorry about the long wait!
1. Recognitions

Starting Over  
  
Recognitions  
  
A/N: Another series about life after the curtain went down. Christian and Satine are both alive and living it up in London. They are married.  
  
Satine looked around the table and smiled. She had only been there a few weeks but already it felt like home. She had never been accepted so easily before. When she had first arrived at the Moulin Rouge people thought her a bit strange but they eventually got used to her. Well, most of them did.  
  
She was sitting around the Helington's dining room table. On her left was Christian, the love of her life. To her right was Phyllis, or Phyl as she liked to be called. Phyl was Christian's 16 year old sister and she and Satine had become best friends. Opposite them were set three places. Seated in them were Peter, Christian's 19 year old brother and Millie, their grandmother. A space was empty for James, Christian's older brother who lived in another part of England but a place was always set for him. At the heads of the table were Gerald and Kathleen, Christian's parents.  
  
'Dinner was most excellent. Thank you, ma'am.' Satine neatly put her knife and fork on the plate and pushed it away.  
  
'You're welcome, my dear, and please call me Kathleen.'  
  
'Of course, Kathleen.' Satine smiled at her mother-in-law who smiled back. She had the same smile that Christian had, the one Satine had fallen in love with. Thinking of loving Christian she slid her hand under the table and found his hand and gave it a squeeze. He squeezed back lightly. This was sort of a silent way for them to tell each other that they loved one another.  
  
'I think I am going to retire to my study.' Gerald stood up. This was a sign that dinner had finished. When he left the room everyone began talking.  
  
'Satine, would you like to come for a walk with me?' Christian asked standing up. Satine looked up at him and shook her head.  
  
'I would love to, darling, but I promised Phyl that I would go for a walk with her.' She smiled down at the brown haired girl. Christian looked downcast so Phyl spoke up.  
  
'Why don't all three of us go on a walk together?'  
  
'That sounds like a lovely idea.' Satine slipped her arm through Phyl's and the two women went to get ready.  
  
'I'm not sure I can.' Phyl said to Satine. The two of them were sitting on the wall which led onto Tower Bridge. Christian was lagging behind because he had begun talking to someone.  
  
'You have to. Who is Christian talking to?' Satine peered past Phyl, to see if she could make out the tall dark figure.  
  
'Oh him. His name is Ed Lexis. He and Christian are best mates. It's weird because he looks like you - maybe that's why Christian took such a shine to you.'  
  
'Excuse me, what did you say his name was?'  
  
'Ed Lexis.' Phyl shook her head. 'You are already married!'  
  
I couldn't be could it. Satine still couldn't make out the figure but then she heard him laugh. That familiar laugh. The one she had grown up with, the one that had made her feel better.  
  
'So, I said...' Christian chuckled. He heard footsteps, that he recognised as Satine's. Just as he was about to introduce them, Ed's face lit up.  
  
'Satine? Is that you?' She was now level with Christian. The tears were welling up in her eyes.  
  
'It's been too long.' She said before breaking down and Ed rushing to embrace her. The two of them held each other for a long time, sobbing. After a few minutes they finally stopped and separated.  
  
'Always was a crybaby!' Ed joked through his tears. Satine laughed. Then she felt Christian's hand slip into hers protectively. Satine looked at him as if she hadn't noticed him there.  
  
'Christian I believe you know my brother - Ed.'  
  
'He's your brother?' Christian asked incredulously.  
  
'Twin brother to be exact.' Ed said. 'We haven't seen each other in 4 years.' He looked at Satine and smiled sadly. Satine looked at him and shook her head slightly. Ed nodded, he understood.  
  
The three of them, after waving a teary goodbye to Ed and promising to see him tomorrow, returned home to a quiet household. The maid, Mary, greeted them.  
  
'Your mother has gone to bed so please be quiet. Your father is in his study and your brother in his room. Oh, and James has returned. He's in the living room.'  
  
Christian smiled at Phyl. They hadn't seen James in a long time. Satine was also intrigued, she had never seen James yet. The three of them opened the door to the living room. Jame was standing with his back to the door, gazing out of the window. As he turned around he smiled at his brother and sister, who smiled back. Then his eyes fell on Satine and his face turned to one of horror. Satine mirrored his image. Christian turned around just in time to see Satine back, horrified into the hall. She ran through the hallway, down the outside steps and along the street. Christian was hot on her tail. He didn't catch her until she ran up the steps to her brother's house. She rang the bell just as he reached the top of the steps. He was about to ask when the door opened and Satine flung herself into Ed's arms.  
  
'He's back.' She whispered into his shoulder. 'He's back.' 


	2. Making Bonds

Starting Over  
  
Making Bonds  
  
A/N: Grandma is not in it anymore.  
  
Breakfast was a strained affair. When James walked in Satine became silent and just stared at her food. Christian tried to talk to her but she just stared. The night before Christian had asked what had happened but Satine told him 'later'.  
  
'So, Satine, what are you up to today?' Asked Kathleen as she ate her cereal. Satine looked up for the first time.  
  
'I-I'm not sure.' She stammered. 'Probably stay here.'  
  
'Tut tut, we can't have that.' Gerald ventured.  
  
'No, I don't mind.' Satine smiled and began to eat.  
  
'Satine, why won't you tell me what's wrong?' Christian walked up behind her. She looked at him in the mirror. Her face expressionless. She slowly turned around.  
  
'Because I haven't come to terms with it myself.' She smiled sadly and gave him a hug. ' Christian smiled back but inside he was crying. He wanted Satine to tell him what the problem was. When she made no indication to talk anymore, he kissed her head and walked out, heading towards work.  
  
The weather matched her mood, gloomy. She sat in the armchair and stared out of the window. The raindrops pattered against the pane. They felt like they were pattering on her brain. She closed her eyes, trying to block them out. Patter, patter, patter, PATTER, PATTER!  
  
'STOP!' She cried out.  
  
'Pattering on your brain, huh?' Satine stood up and turned around. Peter was standing in the doorway, book in hand.  
  
'How did you know?'  
  
'Happens to me all the time but this ain't a moping place. Come with me.' He held the door open and she followed him up the stairs.  
  
He led the way up towards his bedroom but before he reached it he stopped. He then proceeded to move the plant off a tiny windowsill. With a few hits the window opened. Satine looked at him.  
  
'I've gotta fit through there?'  
  
'It's easy. Watch.' He lifted one leg up and pulled himself through. He turned around and offered her his hand. She took it and soon she was on the flat roof.  
  
'Wow!' Satine whispered. She did a turn. The view was incredible. It seemed that all you could see was green, you would never know you were in the city.  
  
'It's my favourite place.'  
  
'I can tell why.'  
  
'I've never taken anyone out here before. They wouldn't understand but I know you do.' He sat down and she sat next to him. For a few minutes neither spoke.  
  
'You know,' Satine said turning slightly towards him, 'this is the first time we have properly talked.'  
  
'That's because I've been studying.' Peter made a pained expression.  
  
'I thought you liked studying, don't you want to become a doctor?'  
  
'My father wants me to be a doctor. I hate it.' He stood up and stared at the view for a while. 'Father wanted to make doctor's of James and Christian but when they disappeared he moved onto me. I saw how disappointed with them he was and I didn't want that to be me. He was already disappointed.'  
  
'That is not true!' She stood next to him. 'He loves you.'  
  
'Only because I said I would do it but I don't want to.'  
  
'So what do you want to do?' She asked her arms folded.  
  
'I want to be an artist.'  
  
'Why is that a bad thing?' Satine questioned.  
  
'Because my father thinks I can do better things with my time.'  
  
'Has he seen your work?'  
  
'No and no one else has either.'  
  
'Can I look?' Satine asked. Peter looked at her for a moment. Then smiled. He nodded and went back inside the house to fetch it.  
  
'It's brilliant.' Satine said, flicking through the pages of his sketchbook. Peter stood there looking shy.  
  
'Do you really think so?'  
  
'I do. Do you want me to talk to my brother, he has contacts in the art world.'  
  
'If dad found out..' Satine stood up next to him and smiled.  
  
'Who says he has to? Now come back in, I'm freezing.' She turned around and then slipped. She had been quite near the edge but now she was a lot closer to it. She tried to regain her footing but couldn't. Peter was unable to do anything as she fell. 


	3. Falling!

Starting Over Falling!  
  
Peter just watched, horrified, as Satine fell further and further away from him. He thought she was never going to stop. Suddenly, she reached the balcony and landed with a massive thud. The noise jolted Peter out of his trance and he rushed down the stairs and to Satine. When he reached her she was sprawled out on the cold concrete, her eyes closed. The grey concrete was turning red from where she had cracked her head. Luckily, she was still breathing but it was very shallow and laboured. Peter knew there wasn't much time. After checking for neck or spinal injuries, he gathered her up in his arms and made his way gingerly back inside, down the stairs and out the front door. Calling on his way to the maid, telling her where he was going.  
  
Christian and James walked slowly along the pavement towards their house. Christian had hoped he would catch up with James and ask him about this thing between him and Satine. James's work was nearer to home so Christian had to leave earlier to catch him up. 'So...What's this thing between you and Satine then?' Christian asked casually. 'I think you'd better ask Satine. If it were me I'd rather hear it from my wife.' 'But you're my brother.' 'Trust me.' James told him. By now they had reached the front door. They let themselves in and removed their winter coats and hats. 'Satine. Satine!' Christian called. 'Ah, Lilly, where's Satine?' He asked to the passing maid. 'Oh, Master Christian! It was absolutely awful. I saw it all I did.' 'What did you see?' 'And look at the floor! What a mess. I'll have to clean that up before the Master gets home.' Christian and James looked down. There was a trail of blood all the way along the hall and up the stairs. 'What did you see?' Christian asked for a second time. 'When she fell. I told your brother. I told him someone would get hurt one day.' 'Where did she fall?' Christian had panic in his voice. 'Onto the balcony from the flat roof above the kitchen. I was bringing in the washing when they appeared. They seemed to talk for a bit then he went back inside and reappeared with a book. He showed it to her and then just as they were about to come back inside, she slipped and fell.' Christian gulped. 'He's taken her to the hospital.' Christian didn't need telling twice. He ran out the door, forgetting to pick up his coat.  
  
'Mr Helington?' Peter looked up. He was sitting on an uncomfortable seat in a hospital corridor. Standing over him was a doctor wearing a white coat and a stethescope around his neck. 'Yes? How is she?' 'How do you know Satine?' 'She's my sister-in-law. I'm training to be a doctor so you can be as tough as you like.' 'Ok. Well, as you know she had a bad fall. She was bleeding quite badly from the head. Fortunately, we managed to stop it but I'm afraid she lost quite a lot of blood. She is alive but barely. If we keep pumping liquids in and bring her blood levels back up to normal then she may have a chance. We also don't know the damage that has been done mentally. At the moment it is wait and see. ' 'Thank you.' 'Is her husband here?' 'Um...' 'Peter!' He looked up to see Christian flying towards him. 'How is she?' 'Are you the husband?' The doctor asked. 'Yes, I'm Christian. Please tell me she's alive.' 'She's alive.' 'Oh good!' 'But it's not looking too good.' Christian sank down into a chair, tears welling up in his eyes. 'C-can I see her?' 'Of course.' The doctor led the two of them down the corridor and through a series of doors. In front of them, along another corridor, was a ward but before it were a series of single rooms. The doctor opened one of them. Christian peered around it to see Satine lying on a bed, a bandage around her head. Her eyes were still closed and now her breathing had nearly returned to normal. 'I'll leave you to it.' The doctor lightly touched Christian's shoulder and then walked off. 'I think I'm going to go too.' Peter said. 'Ok, thanks.' Christian watched Satine for a few minutes before going in and sitting on a chair by the bed. He picked up her hand and held it up to his face before bursting into tears.  
  
It had been three days and Satine hadn't woken up yet. Every now and then she would squeeze Christian's hand but nothing more. He was getting quite worried now as was the doctor. He now wasn't sure how much damage had taken place. Visiting hours began at 11 and ended at 5. Every morning Christian would be outside and he refused to leave until they had to practically drag him out. It was 10.55 when the door to Satine's room opened. For the first time, she opened her eyes. 'Hello, Missy.' An elderly gentleman shuffled towards her bed. 'Hello.' Satine smiled at him sleepily. 'You gave that husband of yours quite a scare. He comes in here every morning on the dot of 10.59 and sits with you all day.' 'I know. I could sense him here. He has a very calming presence.' 'The doors have opened. I'd better get going.' 'Bye.' 'See ya, Missy.' And he left. Satine smiled to herself and closed her eyes again. She heard the door open and footsteps come over to the bed. The chair lightly scraped the floor as Christian pushed it back in order for him to sit down. He opened up a newspaper that he had bought with him and began to read it, never once letting go of Satine's hand. 'Just cos my eyes are closed, it doesn't mean I'm asleep.' Satine croaked. 'You can still speak to me.' Christian dropped his newspaper on the floor and started to hug her and kiss her all over. 'It also doesn't mean that I am completely pain-free. Ow!' 'Sorry.' Christian apologised. 'I'm just so happy you're awake.' 'Me too.' Satine smiled at him. 'Ah, Satine, I see you're awake. I'm Dr Hanac. How are you feeling now?' 'All right I suppose. When can I go home?' Satine asked, silently hoping it would be soon. She hated being stuck in a hospital bed. She preferred to be nursed at home by loved ones. 'Well, you have only just woken up so we need to observe you but if everything is alright you can go home....' Satine braced herself. '...tomorrow.' 'Tomorrow?' She squeaked. 'Yes, now I must be getting on.' Dr Hananc chuckled and left. Satine grinned at Christian and threw her arms around him. 'I'm coming home!' 


	4. I'll Be There For You

Starting Over I'll Be There For You  
  
Satine had been home from the hospital for three months now. She was slowly recovering and only had it been recently that she had been allowed to go outside. It was mid October and the red and golden leaves were falling off the trees. They crunched nicely under Satine's shoes as she walked down the road. Carriages were parked every now and then up the road. There were a few other people out who nodded at Satine as she passed but apart from that, she was by herself. As she approached the house she saw James standing outside. As she got closer she realised what was happening. Smiling, she snuck up behind him. 'Forgotten something?' She asked innocently, grinning wickedly. James glared at her and she returned it, sarcastically. 'Right, the window up there is open.' James said, pointing to the window that led onto Peter's balcony. 'Now I'm going to climb up the apple tree and...What's so funny?' He asked Satine, who was trying not to giggle. 'Nothing.' She said between laughs. 'No, go on.' He said, stepping closer to her. 'Well, that way is good but it will slow the journey down majorly and the end branches near the house aren't strong enough to hold you.' 'Alright, smarty pants. You show us the way you would go.' James said, folding his arms in front of his chest. 'Ok and you have to go your way and we see who gets there first.' She shook hands with James. 'What's going on?' Phyl called out. The two turned around to see Christian, Peter and Phyl walking down the road towards them. 'James looked himself out so he's going to climb up the apple tree to climb in the window and I said that it wouldn't work so now we're having a race.' 'What race?' Christian asked, wrapping his arms around his wife's waist, kissing her cheek. 'To see who can get up to the window first.' Satine nodded towards the window that was three storeys above them. 'Honey, I'm not sure...' Christian looked awfully worried. 'I'll be fine. Besides, Peter is on the right side to catch me this time.' She winked at Peter who smiled, blushing furiously. 'Ok, are you ready?' James asked. 'Bring it on.' James stood at the bottom of the apple tree and Satine moved over to the stone railings that surrounded the steps. 'Three. Two. One. Go!' Peter shouted.  
  
James quickly made his way up the tree, carefully choosing the branches that looked as though they could hold his weight. He slowly made his way over, being even more careful. Satine was right, the branches near the house were quite weak. Satine, on the other hand, was having a better time. She had climbed up onto the railings and then grabbed hold of the edge of the balcony. She pulled herself up and jumped over the railings. She reached up for the window ledge on the second floor and slowly clambered up, her legs scrambling against the wall. Below them Peter and Phyl were cheering but Christian was watching Satine with worry. He was afraid. Afraid she was going to fall. He had already near lost her twice and he didn't want to do it again. James was nearly at the roof. He knew that there was no way the branches in front of him were going to hold his weight. He made his decision and jumped. Satine edged her way along the window ledge and reached out with one hand. She let go of the window ledge with her feet and was about to swing her other hand up to meet the other when.... 'AAAARRRGGGHHH!' Satine howled in pain as James jumped and landed heavily on her fingers. She let go of the roof and began to fall but a split second later she forgot the pain and reached out with her other hand and grabbed hold of the roof. She knew she wouldn't be able to hold on for long. 'James? Could you give me a hand?' 'But I thought you could do it by yourself?' He smiled sweetly at her as he peered over the edge. 'That was until you broke my fingers.' 'Satine! Are you alright?' Christian called out from down below. 'Fine. Just your idiotic brother breaking my fingers.' She glared at James. 'Ok, give me your wrist.' She carefully lifted up her bad hand and James grabbed her wrist and yanked up. The two went flying backwards and Satine flew into the window, causing it to shut. The two looked at it in horror. 'Now look what you've done.' Hissed James. 'What I've done? If you hadn't stepped on my fingers we wouldn't have to have done that.' 'Is everything ok?' Phyl called. 'We're cold.' 'Yea, well you're going to have to go cold for a bit longer.' 'Why?' 'Cos the window is shut.' 'Yea, no thanks to you.' Satine said. James tried to pull open the window from outside but it was no use. 'What?' He asked when he saw Satine glaring at him. 'Of all the people I had to be stuck on a roof with, it had to be you.' 'Yea, well you aren't my first choice either.' He gave the window one last tug and sat down next to Satine. He gave Satine a sideways glance. 'Does this seem familiar?' 'Yea, it does.' Satine smiled slightly. 'New Year's Eve 1894.' 'We were stuck there for four hours. We had to listen to everyone celebrating the new year from outside.' 'Still, we had fun.' 'We sure did. And since we are most likely to be stuck up here a long time, we might as well have fun this time too.' 'What do you have in mind?' James asked warily. He knew what Satine's idea of fun was and it wasn't his.  
  
'So no one told you life was gonna be this way.' Satine stood up and held out a hand to James. 'Your jobs a joke, you're broke, your love life's DOA.'  
  
'It's like you're always stuck in second gear, When it hasn't been your day, week or month, Or even your year but...' James accepted Satine's hand and stood next to her.  
  
'I'll be there for you,' They began to sing together to each other and to the three down below. 'When the rain starts to pour. I'll be there for you, Like I've been there before. I'll be there for you, Cos you're there for me too.'  
  
James turned to Satine and smiled, knowing what was coming next.  
  
'You're still in bed at ten And work began at eight. You've burnt your breakfast So far...Things are going great.'  
  
'Your mother warned you there'd be days like these.' Satine was going to get her revenge. 'But she didn't tell you when the world has brought You down to your knees and...'  
  
'I'll be there for you,' 'When the rain starts to pour. I'll be there for you, Like I've been there before. I'll be there for you, Cos you're there for me too.'  
  
Satine looked down at Christian and smiled to herself. She knew the next bit was for him.  
  
'No one could ever know me, No one could ever see me, Since you're the only one who knows What it's like to be me, Someone to face the day with, Make it through all the mess with, Someone I'll always laugh with, Even at my worst I'm best with you...yea'  
  
'It's like you're always stuck in second gear, When it hasn't been your day, week or month, Or even your year but...'  
  
'I'll be there for you,' 'When the rain starts to pour. I'll be there for you, Like I've been there before. I'll be there for you, Cos you're there for me too.'  
  
'I'll be there for you I'll be there for you I'll be there for you Cos you're there for me too.'  
  
The three down below clapped loudly and as Satine and James lapped up the praise they both knew it was time to reveal the truth. 


	5. When She Loved Me

Starting Over When She Loved Me  
  
Christian stamped his feet and rubbed his hands together, trying to keep warm. It had been two hours since Satine and James had declared that the window wasn't going to open. It was beginning to turn dark. He looked up to see if he could see them but he couldn't. He sat down on the front step next to Phyl. Their parents had gone away for the weekend and Lilly had the evening off so they would be stuck out there all night. 'Hey, do you think it's safe those two being up there alone?' Phyl pulled her coat tighter around her. 'Why?' 'Well, it's obvious that there is tension between them.' 'I'm sure they'll be fine.' He said confidently but in his mind he was doubtful.  
  
'Here.' James handed Satine his coat. She looked at it and at him. 'What's this for?' 'You were shivering. Now put it on.' He wrapped it around her shoulders. 'How's your hand?' 'Still painful.' Satine looked at it. Two of her fingers were bent at a funny angle and they were swollen. 'We need to get down from here before you catch Hyperthermia.' 'I'll be fine.' Satine murmured. Her eyes slowly closing. Her head fell back onto James's shoulder. He watched her for a few seconds before pulling her closer, wrapping his coat around both of them. A few seconds later he followed her to the land of nod.  
  
'Master Christian! What are you doing here?' Lilly had turned up the path and was shocked to see Christian, Peter and Phyl all lying on the front step. Christian was the only one awake. The other two were still sleeping, their arms flung across each other. 'None of us had a key.' He admitted sheepishly. Lilly tutted and stepped over the two sleeping bodies. 'Where are Satine and James.' She asked suspiciously as she took her key out of her bag. 'They climbed up onto the roof but the window closed again. I last spoke to them about 10 hours ago.' 'Come on in, before you catch your death.' Lilly held the door open for Christian. He stepped inside and then looked back at his brother and sister. 'What about those two?' 'We'll leave the door open. Once breakfast starts cooking, they'll wake up.'  
  
Satine sighed contentedly and snuggled closer. She slowly opened her eyes and saw someone gazing back at her. 'Hey.' She said sleepily. 'Morning.' Her eyes flew open. That wasn't Christian's voice. She sat up quickly. Sitting beside her was James. 'Um, nothing happened between us did it?' 'No. I promise.' 'I feel really weird.' She rubbed her head, groaning at her dizziness. 'Probably from the cold and your hand.' James replied, nodding at her right hand. Satine looked down at it, suddenly remembering what had happened. 'Um...I never did get to say thanks.' 'What for?' 'Everything.' She flung her arms around his neck. James stiffened for a second before wrapping his arms around her back. 'You're welcome.' He murmured into her hair. She drew back. 'I think we need to tell them.' 'Tonight.'  
  
'ARRGGH!' Satine yelped in pain, crushing Christian's fingers. 'All better.' The doctor said cheerfully. Satine pulled her hand back, glaring angrily at the doctor. 'Now, I just need to strap it up.' He wrapped her two fingers fingers together with a bandage. 'How long were you up on the roof?' The question was directed to both Satine and James. They looked at each other. 'About 12 hours.' 'And you used to have consumption?' 'That's right.' 'In that case. Both of you up to bed and you are not allowed to come down at all today.' 'Ah!' Both groaned at the same time, like small children. 'I mean it.' He turned to Lilly. 'And no dinner for them if they do.' 'Fine!' Satine snapped. She walked to the door with James following closely behind.  
  
'I'm bored!' Satine groaned. 'You've said that 45 times now.' James replied. The two were sitting on Christian and Satine's bed on top of the cover. They decided that if they were going to be ill they would be ill together. Christian and Peter had both gone to work and Phyl had gone to school. 'How do you think they'll take the news.' Satine said after a while. James studied her for a moment. It was the first serious thing she said all day. 'I'm not sure. I mean, it is pretty big news...But we'll tell them together.' 'Ok.' She said before collapsing into his arms.  
  
About 3 hours later Satine sleepily opened her eyes. She glanced down the bed to see James looking at her, a lopsided grin on his face. 'What are you looking at?' She asked, smiling. 'Nothing. I'm just glad you're awake.' 'Why?' 'There's something I want you to see.' He said hopping off the bed. He grabbed her hand and dragged her toward the balcony. They stepped out. 'What am I supposed to be looking at?' Satine asked. 'This.' James tilted her head back. Satine gasped. 'Woah! That is amazing.' Satine whispered, daring not to breath. Above her she could see stars, hundreds and thousands of stars. 'When I lived in the country I used to get this every night. You only get this in London on very clear nights.' 'Well thank you for showing it to me....What's that?' 'A shooting star. Make a wish.' James and Satine closed their eyes and wished together. After a few moments they opened their eyes and sat down in silence on the balcony, gazing up at the night sky. 'James.' Satine said, after a while. 'Mmm?' 'Tell me what you feel?' 'Feel?' 'About me. How do you feel about me?' James looked at her and smiled sadly. He stood up and walked to the edge of the balcony.  
  
Dinner was a quiet affair without James and Satine. Christian felt incredibly lonely without Satine sitting next to him. Suddenly a noise wafted down from the room above. It was James and Satine talking. Their voices got louder as they stepped out onto the balcony. Christian, who was sitting closest to the open window could hear every word that was being said. He listened intently to his wife. 'About me. How do you feel about me?' Christian's face showed no emotion but inside his heart was breaking. He quietly excused himself and went silently up the stairs. Their bedroom door was open and he slipped inside. The two of them had their back to him so he watched in silence. Suddenly his brother started to sing in a strong tenor voice.  
  
when somebody loved me  
  
everything was beautiful  
  
every hour spent together  
  
lives winthin my heart and when she was sad  
  
i was there to dry her tears  
  
and when was happy  
  
So was i  
  
When she loved me Through the summer and the fall  
  
we had each other that was all  
  
just she and i together  
  
like it was meant to be and when she was lonely  
  
I was there to comfort her  
  
and i knew that she loved me so the years went by  
  
i stayed the same  
  
but she began to drift away  
  
i was left alone  
  
still i waited for the day  
  
when she'd say "i will always love you" Lonely and forgotten  
  
never thought she'd look my way  
  
she smiled at me and held me just like she use to do  
  
like she loved me  
  
when she loved me when somebody loved me  
  
everything was beautiful  
  
every hour spent together  
  
lives wintin my heart  
  
when she loved me. As James sang the last line he turned to look at Satine. Christian who had silently moved closer was standing right behind her. Satine saw the look on James's face turn to one of horror so she turned around quickly. She knew she would never forget the look of hurt on Christian's face as he bolted from the room. 


	6. Anyone of us

Starting Over Anyone of us  
  
Satine sat paralysed for a few seconds before jumping up and running after him. 'Christian!' She called. 'Wait!' He pretended not to hear her. Tears of anger were running down his face and he didn't bother to wipe them away. He paused for a second at the front door. Satine grabbed his arm. 'Look, up there. It was nothing.' 'Why don't you go back to James.' He spat fiercely at her. 'You only had me because you wanted to get him back.' Startled, she let go of him and he quickly slipped out. As the door banged shut he leant against it, the tears running faster now. He didn't care if she could hear his sobs. On the other side Satine started to cry as well. They sobbed in unison as they slid down to the ground. Hugging themselves as if they were all alone in the world. Phyl came out of the dining room and sat next to Satine. She didn't do anything for a few moments but then Satine leaned over and hugged her. They rocked silently back and forth, the tears still running.  
  
Christian wiped his eyes on his sleeve and sniffed. Shakily he stood up. He slowly turned and saw the balcony. Angrily he stomped down the steps and into the night. How could she? He thought as he kicked a stone along the pavement. He thought she was in love with him and their she was with James. The mental image kept on coming into his mind over and over. He didn't know what was worse, Satine asking James what he felt for her or James singing to her. That was their special way of communicating their love. Theirs and no one elses. 'Hey Christian!' Ed's voice came cheerily through the darkness. He was standing in his doorway, watching the world go by. '....Woah! What's the matter with you?' He asked when he saw the look on Christian's face. 'Did you know about Satine and James.' 'Oh that. Come in.' He held the door open and Christian entered.  
  
'Come on, Satine, it can't be that bad.' Phyl handed a cup of tea to Satine who took it. Her hands were shaking so she set it down on the table in front of her. 'It is. You didn't see the look on his face.' 'Yes but there's nothing going on between you and James, is there?' 'No but...' She looked at Phyl and sighed. 'I guess you ought to know. James and I used to be a couple.' 'Oh my...What happened?' 'We met on New Year's Eve 1894 on the top of Mark Fletcher's roof. We got locked out so we had to spend midnight outside. At first we both hated each other but by 2 o'clock, when the others had actually realised where we were, we were in love. The next two years were a dream and I thought life would never get better. Then one day I came home to find him in bed with my best friend, Vivienne. I ran away and vowed I would never go out with anyone again. That lasted 3 years until I met your brother. There was something different about him. I saw in him what I saw in James all those years ago. I guess deep down I never stopped loving James and I thought that Christian was his replacement but then I started loving Christian for who he was and I finally let James go.' 'So what did you feel when you saw him again. I saw the look on your face.' Phyl took a sip of her tea and looked intently at Satine.  
  
'She told me that when she saw him again all her feelings for him, her anger and her love came back. She was confused and didn't know what to think so I told her to listen to her heart.' 'Well she did that.' Christian said bitterly. 'She chose James.' 'Know she didn't. If she had chosen James she would have told you when she realised who she wanted. It's you she wants not him. She still loves him but not like she loves you. She loves him as a friend and she loves you as a husband.' Christian smiled, even though he didn't want to. 'But last night...I heard him..sing to her.' 'He wasn't declaring his love he was telling her that she used to love him and that he knew she didn't anymore.' 'Oh my...What have I done?' Christian rested his face on his hands. 'Do you think I've lost her forever?' 'No, not if you go now.' He didn't need telling twice. He was out of the door.  
  
As he got close to his house he could hear Satine's voice. As it touched his heart he could feel it start aching for her. He was just a few houses down when he could see she was on their balcony, resting her hands on marble ledge.  
  
'I've been letting you down, down Boy I know I've been such a fool Giving in to temptation When I should've played it cool The situation got out of hand I hope you understand'  
  
'It can happen to anyone of us Anyone you think of Anyone can fall Anyone can hurt someone they love Hearts will break Cos I made a stupid mistake It can happen to anyone of us Say you will forgive me Anyone can fail Say you will believe me I can't take my heart will break Cos I made a stupid mistake A stupid mistake'  
  
'He was kind of exciting A little crazy I should've known He must have altered my senses Cos I offered to walk him home The situation got out of hand I hope you can understand'  
  
'It can happen to anyone of us Anyone you think of Anyone can fall Anyone can hurt someone they love Hearts will break Cos I made a stupid mistake It can happen to anyone of us Say you will forgive me Anyone can fail Say you will believe me I can't take my heart will break Cos I made a stupid mistake A stupid mistake'  
  
'A stupid mistake He means nothing to me I swear every word is true Don't wanna lose you'  
  
'You won't.' Satine whirled around to see Christian standing behind her, a bunch of flowers in his hand. Nervously they edged towards each other. 'I'm sorry for overreacting earlier. I should have listened.' 'I don't blame you. I would have done the same thing if I were you.' 'Really?' 'Actually I would have slapped you.' Satine said with a smile. Christian chuckled lightly. 'Look, I'm sorry too. I should have told you when he first came back.' 'It's ok.' 'Really?' 'Sure.' He said. He leaned in to her and kissed her tenderly. 'These are for you...I picked them from next door.' He said when he saw the look on her face. 'Well they are lovely. Thank you sweetie.' She said taking them off him. 'Come here.' She wrapped her arms around him and gazed deeply into his eyes. 'Are we good?' 'We're good.' Christian answered before kissing her again. 


	7. Batty and Barmy

Starting Over Batty and Barmy  
  
'Phyl, calm down.' Satine said to the girl as she paced back and forth on the study floor. 'I can't.' Phyl sat down next to Satine.' How come you're so calm?' 'It's no big deal.' 'Yes it is.' She sighed and stood up again. 'This is my first big show. People from all over are going to come and see it.' A month earlier both Satine and Phyl had auditioned for a new musical called 'Liberty'. The two were delighted to hear that Satine had received the part of the lead actress and Phyl was to play her best friend. The first day of rehearsals had come upon them and Phyl was extremely nervous. 'You should be proud of yourself. Not many people get such a big role in their first show. My first part was a cow.' 'Oh my...' Phyl looked horrified. 'When was this?' 'School nativity.' Satine giggled. 'I was six.' 'Oh.' Phyl sounded relieved. She laughed as well, imagining Satine crawling around on all fours, mooing like a cow. She laughed loudly. 'What?' Satine asked, bemused. Through her giggles she managed to get it out. Soon both girls were in hysterics. They collapsed onto the floor. Phyl began crawling around and mooing. Satine watched for a few moments before joining in. 'Moooooo!' They shrieked together. Satine's sides were hurting from laughing so much. She flopped onto her stomach. Phyl soon joined her. 'Girls!' Gerald's voice thundered from the breakfast room next door. 'Come here!' They stood up and brushed themselves down. Giggling, they walked calmly into the next room. Everyone was still finishing breakfast. Satine and Phyl stood in the doorway, still giggling. They stopped when Gerald glared at them. Kathleen, sensing her husbands anger, decided to talk to them. 'Ladies, my husband called you in here to ask what you were doing. 'Your daughter was acting like a cow.' Satine said with a straight face. 'Ow!' She said as Phyl slapped her on the arm. 'So were you!' She hissed. Gerald coughed and looked as if he was about to really tell them off when the doorbell rang. 'Would love to stay, sir, but that's our ride.' Satine said, thankful for the interruption. She hurried over to Christian and gave him a kiss before taking Phyl by the hand and rushing out of the door.  
  
The hall was bustling as Satine and Phyl arrived. They gazed around in wonder. Even Satine was impressed with the lavish decoration. A stout man made his way up to them. His name was Colin and he was the director. 'Finally! My two star ladies are here. We can begin.' He announced and made his way onto the stage, followed by the bewildered women. Standing in the middle were two men. Both were tall, one had short brown hair and the other floppy blond hair. Colin made his way over to them. They stopped talking and smiled. 'Satine, Phyl these are the two leading men.' 'Thomas.' The blond haired one held his hand out. 'Barry.' He grinned cheekily. 'Hello, Phyl. Batty.' 'Thomas is playing Hubert and Barry is playing Christian.' Satine coughed slightly. 'Is something the matter?' 'My husband is called Christian.' She explained. 'Well, in that case his name is Michael.' He turned to Barry and Thomas. 'Satine is playing Grace and Phyl is Imogen. So why don't you all get aquainted.' He hurried away, finding someone else to talk to. 'Satine, that's a pretty name.' Thomas said turning to Satine. 'Thanks. It's French. Tell me, which one's Hubert?' 'Hubert is the one you are in love with when you're older. Michael is your true love.' 'Yea, Batty, you're desperately in love with me.' 'What's with the Batty nickname?' 'Well, I was trying to think of a good one for you and it was the only one I could think of.' 'And how does it involve me exactly?' 'Your hair's red, like blood and vampires drink blood and bats are associated with bats. Also you seem quite batty. 'Gee, thanks.' Satine said sarcastically.  
  
At six o'clock the driver dropped Satine and Phyl off at the front door. They let themselves in. Standing in the hallway was Christian, he had been looking out the window awaiting their return. As Satine walked in he wrapped his arms around her, kissing her deeply. 'Hello!' Phyl called out. 'Sister still in the room.' Christian reluctantly pulled himself away from Satine's face. 'Sorry.' He put his face next to hers, his lips close to her ear. 'I missed you so much.' 'I'm not complaining.' She whispered, her breath tickling his ear. The doorbell rang and the two lovers dropped out of their embrace. Phyl opened the door. Standing there was Barry, a bunch of flowers in his hand. 'Hello, Phyl, is....' He trailed off when he saw Satine. 'Hello, Satine.' 'What no Batty?' She said coldly. 'Yea, about that. It was stupid. I guess I was just nervous around you. I came round to apologise and well...' He thrust the flowers out to her. She took them. 'Ah, thank you but you didn't need to apologise.' 'Yes I did.' 'No, I mean. I forgave you before. It's quite grown on me now.' 'You mean I apologised for nothing?' He asked, shocked. Satine grinned at him. 'Yep! Besides, I came up with my own nickname for you.' 'What?' 'Barmy.' 'Thanks!' He said indignantly but he was laughing. Christian looked from Satine to the man he didn't know. 'Hello? Batty and Barmy?' He said loudly. They turned to him. 'Explain.' 'Oh, sorry, darling. Christian, this is Barry, my co-star. Barry, this is my husband, Christian.' The two men shook hands. Christian released his tight grip on Satine ever so slightly. 'What's with the Batty, Barmy thing?' 'Batty is his nickname for me and mine for him is Barmy.' 'Rrright.' He said, thoroughly confused. 'Just ignore them.' Phyl said. 'Would you like to stay for a drink, Barmy...Barry?' She quickly corrected herself. 'Sure.'  
  
'So, tell me, Barry.' Christian settled himself next to Satine on the couch, his hand carressing her knee. 'Who are you in the play?' 'I play Michael.' 'Who's Michael?' 'Sweetie, it's probably best if we explain the storyline.' Satine said patting his leg. 'I play a girl called Grace. It starts when she is about 15. She runs away from home with her boyfriend, Michael but then she runs away from him as well. It skips foward about 7 years and she is engaged to a man called Hubert. He's a bad man who has been out with a lot of women. Imogen, played by the lovely Phyl, is my best friend who tries to persuade me to leave him. Then Michael turns up again and she realises that it is him she really loves. However, she can't just leave Hubert because he's..well he's horrible.' 'So what happens in the end?' 'I die.' Satine answered frankly. 'You see Hubert finds out and tries to shoot Michael but can't.' 'So he shoots you instead?' 'No, I die from consumption....Is anyone else having the feeling of deja vu?' 


	8. Liberty

Starting Over Liberty  
  
A/N: This is Satine and Phyl's play, Liberty, so that is why it is in the form it is. At the end it will be real life.  
  
(The curtain rises and in the top right corner are a group of people dressed in black and white. They are the chorus. Grace enters the stage by herself from the left.)  
  
Chorus: She had her father's blue eyes, He left home before she arrived. Momma named her Grace, Just getting by on their own When Grace was 15 She ran from home One December day Grace is lost and alone In a world as cold as stone...  
  
(The Chorus leave. Michael enters behind Grace, carrying a suitcase. Grace turns and smiles, giving him a hug and kiss. There is silent talk between them. The lights dim and they both lie down. Grace quickly gets up and walks away. Michael wakes up and sees she is gone. He sadly leaves. The Chorus, now dressed in normal clothes enter. They are people in the town. They pretend to go about their business. Grace and Imogen enter from one side, talking and Hubert enters from the other. Music starts and everyone begins a choreographed dance.)  
  
Chorus: L to the I to the B to the E to the R to the T Y (repeat( Grace: I ain't mad with you baby Hubert: Yeah but why the wait, Grace: I'm just telling you maybe Hubert: Oh so why the wait Grace: I ain't mad at you baby I'm thinking it over  
  
(Chorus go back to their business. Grace and Imogen move centre with Hubert on their right. They can't see each other.)  
  
Grace: There's this guy that's on my mind He tells me I'm the one and sees me all the time Should I see him, do you think he's right Coz he's the one whose caught my eye  
  
Imogen: I tell you girl I've heard this all before He ain't the kind of guy that you've been searching for Look around you, see there's so much more Coz he's the one you should ignore  
  
Hubert: Baby let me tell you how I feel Know you've heard a lot of things, but I'm for real I realise I have myself to blame Forget my past I'm not the same  
  
(Everyone begins dancing again)  
  
Hubert: So why the wait Grace: I ain't mad with you baby Hubert: Yeah but why the wait Grace: I'm just telling you maybe Hubert: Oh so why the wait Grace: I ain't mad at you baby I'm thinking it over  
  
Chorus: Over L to the I to the B to the E to the R to the T Y  
  
Ooh Ooh Yeah Yeah L to the I to the B to the E to the R to the T Y  
  
Yeah  
  
(Hubert walks up to Grace.)  
  
Hubert: It's been a while since I felt so sure I've played around but I want something more Not gonna pressure you to let me know But give me the chance to prove you wrong  
  
Grace: Honey I'm feeling so confused Don't wanna play a game I know I'm gonna lose I need some time so I can think things through But not tonight, not with you  
  
(She walks away, back to Imogen)  
  
Hubert: So why the wait Grace: I ain't mad with you baby Hubert: Yeah but why the wait Grace: I'm just telling you maybe Hubert: Oh so why the wait Grace: I ain't mad at you baby I'm thinking it over  
  
Hubert:I can't stand the wait Grace: I ain't mad though Hubert: I can't stand the wait Grace: I ain't mad though Hubert: I can't stand the wait Grace: I'm thinking it over  
  
Chorus: I'm thinking it over I'm thinking it over I'm thinking it over I'm thinking it over  
  
(Michael walks in and sees Grace. Everyone else leaves until it's just those two.)  
  
Grace: Michael, what are you doing here? Michael: Looking for you. Like I have done the past seven years. Grace: Why? Michael: (Stepping up to her.) I still love you. Grace: (Stepping back.) I'm engaged. Michael: You mean you feel nothing?  
  
(Hubert enters and leads her off. Grace keeps on looking back at Michael. Scene changes to Grace's bedroom. She is on the balcony looking out. Michael enters and Grace sees him.)  
  
Grace: Everybody's got something they had to leave behind One regret from yesterday that just seems to grow with time There's no use looking back or wondering How it could be now or might have been Oh this I know but still I can't find ways to let you know  
  
I've never had a dream come true Till the day that I found you Even though I pretend that I've moved on You'll always be my baby I never found the words to say You're the one I think about each day And I know no matter where life takes me to A part of me will always be with you  
  
Somewhere in my memory I've lost all sense of time And so my road can never be cos yesterday is all that fills my mind There's no use looking back or wondering How it could be now or might have been Oh this I know but still I can't find ways to let you go  
  
I've never had a dream come true Till the day that I found you Even though I pretend that I've moved on You'll always be my baby I never found the words to say You're the one I think about each day And I know no matter where life takes me to A part of me will always be  
  
You'll always be the dream that fills my head Yes you will, say you will, you know you will Oh baby, you'll always be the one I know I'll never forget There's no use looking back or wondering Because love is a strange and funny thing No matter how I try and try I just can't say goodbye No no no no  
  
I've never had a dream come true Till the day that I found you Even though I pretend that I've moved on You'll always be my baby I never found the words to say You're the one I think about each day And I know no matter where life takes me to A part of me will always be A part of me will always be with you  
  
(End scene. Grace and Hubert's wedding. Suddenly Michael bursts in, proclaiming his love for Grace. Hubert, shocked, tries to shoot him but fails. So he storms out.)  
  
I can never find another lover Sweeter than you Sweeter than you I will never find another lover More precious than you More precious than you  
  
Girl you are Close to me just like my mother Close to me just like my father Close to me just like my sister Close to me just like my brother You are the only one my everything And to you this song I sing  
  
All my life I pray for someone like you And I thank God, that I That I finally found you, baby All my life I pray for someone like you And I hope that you Feel the same way too Yes I pray that you do love me too  
  
I promise to never fall in love With a stranger You're all I'm thinking of I praise the lord above For sending me your love I cherich every hug I really love you so much  
  
All my life I pray for someone like you And I thank God, that I That I finally found you, baby All my life I pray for someone like you And I hope that you Feel the same way too Yes I pray that you do love me too  
  
You're all that I ever know When you smile my face Always seem to glow You turn my life around You pick me up  
  
You're all that I ever know When you smile my face Always seem to glow You turn my life around You pick me up When I was down  
  
And I hope that you Feel the same way too Yes I pray that you Do love me too  
  
All my life I pray for someone like you And I thank God, that I That I finally found you, baby All my life I pray for someone like you And I hope that you Feel the same way too Yes I pray that you do love me too  
  
(Grace and Michael kiss. Then Grace dies. The curtain goes down and everyone appluads)  
  
As the curtain fell Satine sat up and grinned. Phyl rushed over. 'We did it!' She shrieked, wrapping her arms around her neck. 'We certainly did.' 'Places for curtain call!' The stage manager called. Phyl helped Satine to her feet and the two girls went to the wings. The curtain rose slowly and the chorus members stepped foward in a long line. They joined hands and bowed twice. Raptuous applause greeted them. Next on, from different wings, came Phyl and Thomas. People booed, teasingly, at Thomas who was the bad guy. The two joined the chorus members and stepped back. This was it, Satine thought, my big moment is finally here. She saw Barry in the opposite wing. He nodded and they walked on. The noise was phenomenal. When they meet in the middle Barry swept her into a huge hug and kiss. They bowed together and then joined the rest of the cast. They all took two bows together. Everyone was grinning, they were so happy it had gone well. The noise didn't seem to be getting any quieter. 'QUIET!' Satine roared. Everyone stopped and looked at her. She blushed, sheepishly. 'Sorry! Um, just want to thank everyone for coming and as a special first night extra. This song is for all the lovers out there!' Collapsing was much softer  
  
Still falling always hurt  
  
Only after sensing your love  
  
For always ever burned  
  
You justified my folly  
  
My affluent disguise  
  
Removed revealing nothing  
  
Yet nothing unforgiven lies  
  
Unforgiven lies  
  
No one loves me like you  
  
No one loves me the way you do  
  
No one loves me like you  
  
No one loves me the way, the way that you do  
  
To touch the rose unfearful  
  
Is to meet the thorn  
  
And pierce the heart's emotion  
  
And feel the emptiness no more  
  
Emptiness no more  
  
Took some time to realize I've fallen The applause that met Satine's ears was amazing. She turned and grinned at her fellow castmates. She had finally achieved what she wanted to, without feeling ashamed.  
  
A/N: Songs used: Point of Grace - Saving Grace Liberty X - Thinking it over S Club 7 - Never had a dream come true K Ci & Jojo - All my life Jars of Clay - No one loves me like You (This song is really sung for the Big Guy in the sky, who I love but the words are appropriate for them as well.) 


	9. There's Always a Price to Pay

Starting Over There's Always a Price to Pay  
  
'Gonna make you see,  
  
Nobody else here here,  
  
No one like me  
  
I'm special! ....Ow!' A drunken Satine walked into a lampost in the middle of her late night concert. Falling backwards, she landed with a thump. For a moment she looked surprised and then burst out in hysterical laughter. She sat shrieking on the floor, tears streaming down her face. Phyl, Barry and Thomas watched her and started laughing as well. The four had gone out with the cast for celebratory drinks and Satine had done enough celebrating for all of them.  
  
'She won't be able to walk any further in that state.' Phyl commented. She looked down the road to see two policeman coming their way. 'Quick, let's take her into the park, the police are coming.' Barry put one arm under her knees and the other round her back. In one quick movement he picked her up and they quickly slipped across the road and into the park area. They watched in silence as the policeman walked past, a hand clamped over Satine's mouth to stop her from laughing.  
  
'Come on. While the coast is clear.' Thomas led the way back across the road. They quietly crept up the steps to the house. 'Who's got a key?'  
  
'I have.' Satine slurred. Barry put her down and she began to look through her bag. After a few moments of complaining, at the top of her voice, that she couldn't find it, she triumphantly held it above her head. 'Here it is!'  
  
The door opened and Christian peeked outside. Satine hadn't heard the door open and attempted to stick it in the lock, which had been replaced by Christian's side. She took a few more jabs, Christian grimacing in pain. Finally she looked at the key and then finally at Christian.  
  
'Your lock's broken.....AAAARRRGGGHHH!' She screamed and ran down the steps.  
  
'Tell me, how much has she had to drink?' Christian asked, glaring at his sister.  
  
'She didn't buy many but people kept on bringing them to her. She thought it was rude not to drink them. Anyway, don't blame me. She is a grown woman.' They all looked at Satine who was behaving like a child. 'Well, most of the time.'  
  
'Come on, Satine, time for bed.' Christian walked down the steps and offered his arm to Satine. She took it, leaning close to him.  
  
'Ok, but we must be really quiet cos we don't want to wake Christian.' Christian nodded in agreement and mouthed thank you and goodbye to the two men. Phyl held the door open as Christian carried a now unconscious Satine into the hall.  
  
***  
  
Once upstairs Christian quickly and quietly undressed Satine and put her nightdress on. Pulling the covers back, he gently lay her down. He was about to climb in next to her when there was a gentle tapping at the door. He opened it to find Phyl holding a bowl.  
  
'For Satine.' She said thrusting it in front of her.  
  
'Thank you. Night.' He took the bowl and shut the door. He placed it on the floor beside Satine and climbed in next to her.  
  
***  
  
Satine opened her eyes and quickly shut them again.  
  
'Oh!' She moaned, holding her head. She vaguely remembered being given drink after drink but apart from that it was all a blur. Turning over she realised that Christian had already woken up and gone downstairs for breakfast. She peeked at the time on the clock that stood in the corner. It was ten minutes until breakfast time. Gerald didn't like anyone to miss breakfast, especially if it was due to a hangover. Clambering out of bed she walked over to the wardrobe and pulled out a beige dress. She slipped out of her nightdress and prepared to fold it up. There was something warm and wet near the bottom of it. Taking her hand away she could see it was covered in blood.  
  
'How odd.' She said out loud to herself. 'It's not even....' Then the shooting pain in her stomach confirmed her worst fears. Satine slid down to the floor, clutching her stomach. She closed her eyes and began to cry. 


	10. Not Just Something That Happens

Starting Over Not "Just Something That Happens"  
  
Phyl walked past Christian and Satine's door whistling cheerily. She was in an extremely happy mood. Her tutor had cancelled on her and she was free to do whatever she wanted.  
  
'Ohhhh.' A low moan came from the bedroom. Phyl stopped and listened. 'Ohhh.' There it was again. She thought she had imagined it.  
  
'Hello?' She knocked lightly and stuck her head round the door. Leaning against the bed was Satine. She had put a t-shirt of Christian's on and was now sitting with her legs stretched out in front of her looking absolutely terrified. She looked up when Phyl came in. She opened her mouth to speak.  
  
'Ohhh.' She could only let out a moan and clutch desperately at her stomach.  
  
'Satine, what's the matter....?' Phyl trailed off when she saw her nightdress. 'I thought that it wasn't due for another three weeks.'  
  
'It's not.' Satine said tearfully. 'This is all my fault!'  
  
'No it's not. Did you know?'  
  
'No. Christian is going to be so mad with me.'  
  
'You know that's not true.' Phyl hugged her shoulders reassuringly. 'Besides we don't know if anything has happened yet. We should get the doctor in and find out the truth.'  
  
'You're right. Thanks.' Satine managed a small smile before grimacing in pain again.  
  
***  
  
Gerald looked at the grandfather clock and then at the door. He sighed loudly. He expected lateness from Phyl but not from Satine. She was always on time for meals and was quiet and calm, just the way he liked people to be at the table. Sitting at the other end was Kathleen and on his right sat James and Peter and on his left was Christian. There were two spaces free on the same side for Satine and Phyl.  
  
'Where are those girls?' He wondered out loud. 'Lilly, go and see where they are.'  
  
'Yes, sir.' The maid curtsied and opened the door. She reached the bottom of the stairs where she collided with Phyl. 'Ah, Miss Phyl, the master was looking for you and Miss Satine.'  
  
'Lilly, I need you to go and get the doctor for me.'  
  
'But I have the beds to make.'  
  
'This is much more important. Please.....it's Satine.'  
  
'I'll go right away, Miss.' Lilly had a soft spot for Satine. Of course, she liked everyone else but there was something about Satine that she liked. Maybe it was the way Satine made sure there wasn't too much tidying to do in her bedroom or maybe the way she would sneakily help tidy the plates after dinner when Gerald wasn't looking.  
  
***  
  
'Where has Lilly gone?' Gerald demanded when his daughter came in late. 'Why are you late? Where is Satine?'  
  
'Doctors. Satine. Upstairs.' She answered all three questions with one word. Everyone tried to contain their laughter. Christian was spluttering along with them when the words suddenly went into his brain.  
  
'Why has she gone to the doctors?' He asked slowly, standing up.  
  
'I think you'd better go upstairs.' Phyl told him gently. She didn't want to voice out Satine's problems yet. Christian flew out of the room and bounded up the stairs two at a time. He flung his bedroom door open to see Satine still leaning against the bed, grimacing in pain. She had started to bleed again and was sitting in a small pool of blood.  
  
'Christian....' She said weakly, holding out a shaking hand. He took it and sat down next to her, putting his arm around her and placing his quivering lips on her forehead.  
  
'Sssh. Lily's gone to get the doctor. He'll be able to stop the pain.' He didn't want to tell her everything was going to be all right because what if it wasn't? He would have lied to her and their marriage was built on trust. Satine sniffled before grimacing in pain again. Christian felt her body tense up.  
  
***  
  
The doctor put his stethescope back into his bag. Satine, who was now lying on the bed, stared blankly ahead. Christian looked at her before smiling weakly at the doctor.  
  
'I'm sorry, sir.' Christian nodded and the doctor went to the door. Giving one glance back at Satine, he left. For a few seconds Christian just looked at Satine. Her lip began to quiver and the tears began to pour.  
  
'I-I'm sorry, Christian.' She wailed.  
  
'Hey, this isn't your fault.' He said quietly.  
  
'Yes it is. If I didn't have all those drinks then I wouldn't be in this situation.'  
  
'Satine, you must never blame yourself for this.' He sat down on the bed next to her. 'Unfortunately, this is just something that happens.'  
  
'But it wasn't "just something that happens".'  
  
'Satine...' Christian began.  
  
'Face facts, Christian. I killed my baby, I killed my baby!' She said loudly, tears running down her face. Christian stood up numbly and walked backwards out of the door. The shock realisation had just hit him. 


	11. Waiting for it to Subside

Starting Over Waiting for it to Subside  
  
The next morning Satine walked into the dining room bleary-eyed. She was shocked to see Christian sitting there already. He stared at his plate, refusing to look up. After he had left last night he hadn't returned. Satine had stayed awake all night waiting for him to come back. Christian didn't have a good night either. After everyone had gone to bed he had crept up from his hideout in the study and sat outside his and Satine's bedroom door. He couldn't get the courage to go in.  
  
'Good morning, Satine.' Kathleen smiled pleasantly at her daughter-in-law. Satine forced her lips upwards.  
  
'Good morning, Kathleen.' She said sweetly, sliding gracefully in next to Christian. Christian glanced at her out of the corner of his eye, hoping that she was looking at him. She wasnt, she was smiling politely at Jeremy as he entered.  
  
'Good morning everyone.' He said as he sat down.  
  
'Good morning.' Everyone chorused. He lifted his knife and fork as an indication everyone should start.  
  
'Can you pass me the water jug, please?' Satine asked. Christian picked it up and placed it in front of her, not once looking in her direction. Phyl watched them. This was not normal for them. Normally if she wanted him to pass her something she would whisper it in his ear and then he would pass it, allowing their hands to touch during the transaction. Also during meal times they would exchange tender looks or whisper to each other or hold hands momentarily. This morning they were even leaning away from each other.  
  
***  
  
Once breakfast was finished Lily came in and began clearing the plates. Christian stood up and walked out without so much as a passing glance at Satine. Phyl, who had been sitting on Christian's other side slid into his chair.  
  
'What's going on?' She hissed.  
  
'I don't know what you're talking about.' Satine said innocently. She quickly made her escape to the bathroom where she washed her face with cold water. On leaving, she ran into Phyl and Christian who were standing at the top of the stairs near her bedroom door. They stopped talking when they saw her.  
  
'What are you doing?' This question was aimed at Phyl.  
  
'Oh, we were about to explore the attic. My uncle used to own the house before us and there is apparently some of his things still up there. 'Do you want to help?' Satine looked at Christian who was looking at the carpet, making a pattern in it with his shoe.  
  
'Um, no thank you.' Satine said and walked down the stairs. They heard the front door open and then close. Phyl turned to look at Christian. He couldn't look at her. Why had he let things get so bad? She couldn't even face to be in the same room as him unless absolutely necessary. He didn't mean it to happen. The moment she got back in he would go and apologise to her. He knew her so well that he expected her back in about an hour or two.  
  
***  
  
At five o'clock in the afternoon, Christian was sitting on the settee in the living room. One eye on the clock and the other on the window. Phyl, Peter and James walked past on their way to tea.  
  
'What's he doing?' James asked.  
  
'Waiting for Satine. He's getting quite worried now.'  
  
'Christian, are you coming for tea?' Peter called. Christian looked at him as if he were crazy. 'I guess not.' Christian sighed and turned back to his watching. Where was she? Had he driven her away for good? It had been rainign all day. She was probably soaking wet.  
  
'Christian?' He was roused from his trance and looked at the door. His mother was standing there. 'It's tea time.'  
  
'But Satine...'  
  
'Will be fine. Now come and eat. A watched pot never boils.' When he made no movement she went over to him, grabbed his wrist and dragged him into the dining room.  
  
***  
  
Satine sat down on the side of the path, not caring about the rain. She was already dripping wet and a bit more wouldn't make much of a difference. A couple ran past her laughing and joking. The man had taken his coat off and had placed it over the two of them as they rushed to get out of the rain. Christian would have done that, Satine thought bitterly. But now she wasn't so sure if he even loved her anymore. She'd seen the way he had looked at her. Then she remembered the way he used to look at her. Always smiling, his eyes shining. He always made her happy and in a crowded room she could always feel him watching her. Not out of jealousy but out of love. Her eyes filled with tears as she remembered the good times and thinking that she was never going to experience them again.  
  
'Mind if I sit here?' A voice asked. Satine looked up. Christian smiled down at her. Satine smiled back and patted the ground next to her. Christian sat down. 'Ah, nice and wet.' Satine giggled. He always made jokes to try and make the situation seem better than it really was. 'I thought I'd find you here....Hey, you're crying.' He exclaimed as he gently wiped them away with his thumb.  
  
'I-It's nothing.' Satine said, taking her hankie out and dabbing her eyes.  
  
'I know you're crying because of me. I know I've hurt you.'  
  
'No, no. I've hurt you.' Satine looked at him. 'I'm sorry for....what happened.'  
  
'Sssh.' Christian took her hand in his. 'It's not your fault. You didn't know you were pregnant so don't blame yourself.'  
  
'But....' Satine's protest was silenced by Christian's finger on her lips. He leaned slowly towards her, taking it away. She closed her eyes and melted into him as his lips touched hers. She knew that Christian loved her. He always had done and he always would. 


	12. The Attic

Starting Over The Attic  
  
Christian and Satine walked through the front door, soaking wet. Their hands were clasped together with their fingers interwined. Christian gave Satine a gentle kiss before they walked into the sitting room. Everyone was there. Gerald was reading a newspaper, Kathleen was doing some sewing, Phyl was reading a book and the two brothers were playing chess. Everyone looked up when Christian cleared his throat.  
  
'I see you found her then.' Gerald said shortly. Christian rolled his eyes at Satine who giggled.  
  
'Look at the state of you two!' Kathleen exclaimed jumping up. 'Especially you, Satine. Now come on - upstairs with you.' She took Satine by the arm and guided her back into the hall and up the stairs. 'You too, Christian.' She called after her. Christian hurried up the stairs two at a time. On the Kathleen turned to them. 'Now, Satine you take the bath in your bathroom and Christian you can use the bathroom down the hall. Off you go - hup two!' Christian and Satine looked at each other, amused. Then Satine gave him a kiss before turning to go in their room.  
  
***  
  
An hour later there was a gentle knock on Christian and Satine's door. Satine set down her brush on the vanity table and went to open the door. Phyl was standing there.  
  
'Hey, Phyl. Can I help you?'  
  
'Do you want to come and explore the attic with me?'  
  
'At this time? It's late.' Satine said, pointing at the clock on the landing.  
  
'It's perfect timing, come on.' She grabbed Satine's hand and pulled her across the landing and through the opposite door. She ushered Satine through and then placed a wedge in the door.  
  
'Other we get locked in.' Phyl explained. It was pitch black inside. Satine's eyes adjusted to the light and Phyl lit a candle. There were a set of wooden stairs that led up to the attic. Phyl led the way with Satine trailing behind. She glanced behind her at the closed door. Pity Christian isn't here, she thought.  
  
***  
  
Christian strolled cheerily down the hallway, whistling. His hair was still damp from his bath. He knocked gently on his door, just in case Satine was changing. When there was no reply he tentatively opened the door. The light was on but no one was there. He shrugged. She's probably in Phyl's room, he thought.  
  
***  
  
'This is some attic.' Satine said, turning around slowly. Phyl looked up from the photo album she was looking through.  
  
'Impressive isn't it? I remember coming up here when we first bought the house eight years ago. I thought it was the best room in the house. I've explored a little bit every now and again.'  
  
'And you still haven't finished?' Satine asked incredulously. Phyl grinned and shook her head.  
  
'We have to be very quiet. My parents room is below us and they wouldn't appreciate my late night snoops. Satine nodded and sat down. A trunk sat next to her. Carefully, she opened it and reached inside. She pulled out a blue dress.  
  
'What's this?'  
  
'That was my mother's when she was about your age.'  
  
'It's gorgeous.' Satine commented, turning it so she could take it all in.  
  
'I used to dress up in it, pretending I was a princess. Christian was my prince.' Phyl said smiling. Satine let out a laugh. She had to agree with that - Christian was a prince, her prince. Christian - her heart ached. After this afternoon and their fight she had vowed never to keep him out of things again. She really wanted him beside her.  
  
***  
  
Christian sighed as his father droned on about his work. He looked at clock. It had been half an hour since he had decided Satine wasn't in their room. She wasn't in Phyl's room either. Suddenly his heart ached for her. He needed to see her again, to hold her, to kiss her. He stood up and walked into the hall and then up the stairs. Listening carefully, he could hear voices coming from the attic. He opened the door and walked in, accidentally kicking the wedge out of the way. It was pitch black and he had to make his way up the stairs by touch alone. At the top he saw a flickering light made by a candler.  
  
'It's only Christian.' He heard Phyl announce. He came round the corner to see his sister standing near him and Satine sitting on a wooden box.  
  
'Gee thanks.' He said, digging her in the side affectionately. He turned to smile at Satine. She had a look on her face, a look of urgency. Satine had two of those looks. One was 'Nothing's happened. I just need you to hold me.' and the other was 'Something's happened. I need you to hold me and comfort me.'. This was definitely the first one. He strode over and sat on the floor by Satine since there were no boxes nearby. Satine took a hint and slid onto the floor and onto his lap. He wrapped his arms around her and she leant back in his embrace. Phyl rolled her eyes and turned around. Even though she thought it was sweet, sometimes it was sickeningly so. As she turned something caught her eye. There was no crack of light coming through the door from below.  
  
'Er, Christian.' She said, turning back to face the two lovers. Christian was nuzzling Satine's cheek gently before kissing it. He looked up.  
  
'Mmm?'  
  
'Where's the wedge?'  
  
'What wedge?'  
  
'The piece of wood holding the door open.'  
  
'I think I kicked it out by accident.' He said before turning his attention back to Satine. Satine opened her eyes and drew back from the kiss.  
  
'You did what?' She asked. 'Great! Just great!' She got up and started to walk around.  
  
'What?!' Christian asked, still unsure of what he had done.  
  
'We are stuck up here.' Phyl announced.  
  
'What about Mother and Father?'  
  
'Do you want to wake them?' Phyl asked. Christian thought about it. If they did then his father would probably kill them. He shook his head. 'Didn't think so. I think we are just going to have to make ourselves comfortable.'  
  
'And cold.' Satine said, standing by the open window. 'I've tried to close it and it won't.' Christian got up and walked over to the winow. He gave it a few tugs but it wouldn't budge.  
  
'She's right. Any blankets up here, sis?'  
  
'I'm not sure....' She trailed off. 'But if we look around we might be able to find some.' The three began to search through boxes and in corners for blankets or something they could use as blankets.  
  
***  
  
The search had been going on for about twenty minutes and only one piece of grey material had been found. Christian was searching through a cupboard when he triumphantly pulled out a pink blanket. It was dust covered but otherwise in good condition. He shook it, letting out a massive sneeze.  
  
'Bless you.' Phyl said absentmindedly from her search of some boxes.  
  
'Thanks. Satine, are you alright?' He asked his wife he looked deep in thought.  
  
'Hmm? Yes, fine. Where's my trunk?'  
  
'Your trunk?' Christian repeated.  
  
'Yes, you know. My belongings. I know it came up here.'  
  
'Try round the corner.' Phyl said, pointing to a little area that was to the right of the door instead of straight ahead of it. 'That is where all the new things go.' Satine disappeared around the corner. A moment later she returned with a patchwork quilt.  
  
'What's that?' Christian asked as she settled on the floor. The other two abandoned their searching and joined her on the floor.  
  
'It was my mother's so I guess it's mine now. It's my family quilt. It is passed down through the women and each one has to add a square. This one's mine.' She said pointing to a purple square with yellow flowers on. 'I added this when I was just nine years old. I remember when I was young and I was ill, my mother would wrap me up in it and hold me on her lap and rock me.' Satine's eyes misted up as she remembered her mother. Christian stroked her arm comfortingly.  
  
'Listen, I'll take the pink blanket.' Phyl said standing up. She picked up the pink blanket and dragged it to another part of the room. On the way she passed the little grey one and chucked it over. Snuggling into the blanket, she attempted to go to sleep.  
  
Christian looked at Satine. Who was still holding the blanket.  
  
'It's going to be dark, isn't it?' She asked.  
  
'Most likely. Why, you aren't scared of the dark are you?'  
  
'Noooo but I've never slept in complete darkness before. There has always been a bit of light.' Satine explained. Christian picked up the candle and settled it on the floor next to them. He folded the grey material up and lay it on the floor like a pillow. Then he lay down on top of it and held his arms opened. Satine lay down in them, her head resting on his chest.  
  
'Now, close your eyes.' Satine obediently did so and Christian blew the candle out. 'As long as I've got you, there is nothing to be scared of.' He said gently, kissing her on the head. Satine pulled his arms around her tighter and drifted off to sleep. Christian listened to the sound of Satine. Once he was sure she was asleep, only then did he close his eyes and drift off himself.  
  
*** 


	13. A Convincing Story

Starting Over A Convincing Story  
  
Two weeks had gone and it was now coming up to the beginning of March. Flowers were beginning to bloom and a sense of spring was in the air. Satine had found herself a job at a garden centre. She absolutely loved being surrounded by plants and flowers and was willing to do whatever was asked of her. However, she had one request - that she was allowed to leave promptly at three o'clock so that she could be home in time to greet Christian. Jim the owner, who was an old man, agreed. One day he let her out half an hour earlier. Satine decided to walk home via Phyl's school. She stood outside for about ten minutes before the building seemed to burst and release a lot of people. Satine spotted Phyl straight away. She could recognise that smile anywhere, it was Christian's. Dodging past people, she made her way up to Phyl and the three friends whom she was with.  
  
'Hey, Phyl.' Satine said. Phyl looked up and flashed an even bigger smile.  
  
'Satine! What are you doing here? I thought you didn't finish until three.'  
  
'Jim let me out early. So I decided I would come and meet you.'  
  
'That's really sweet of you. You aren't doing this for my father, are you?' Gerald had found out about the incident in the attic and Phyl's punishment for being 'so stupid' was to be grounded for three weeks. That meant she had to come straight home after school.  
  
'Of course not. Now come on, you don't want your punishment to go on for any longer than necessary.' Phyl waved goodbye as Satine dragged her down the road.  
  
'Hey, this isn't the way home.' Phyl said when she realised they were going in the completely opposite direction.  
  
'Who says we're going home?'  
  
***  
  
Christian leaned back in his chair and stretched. Finally the meeting was over. He had just spent the last 4 hours listening to his father trying to win over some clients. Gerald was in real estate and Christian had reluctantly agreed to work for him, only because he wanted to make enough money to get a house for him and Satine. He rose and picked up his briefcase.  
  
'Christian, care to join us?' One of the men asked. They were going to go to a sleazy bar, full of rich, snobby people. 'Erm...' He really wanted to get home to Satine.  
  
'Come on, Son.' Gerald walked up and put his arm around his shoulders. 'I'll explain to Satine.' Christian finally gave in. He knew his father would have killed him if he didn't.  
  
***  
  
Phyl groaned and slumped down in her seat. Satine looked at her curiously.  
  
'What's wrong?' Phyl didn't say anything but gestured towards the door with her head. Satine turned to see Christian and Gerald settle themselves at a table near the door with two other men.  
  
'Oh no.' Satine sighed. They would both be in trouble now. Phyl with her father for not being at home and Satine with Christian for being in a 'sleazy bar' without him - he was afraid that someone would try and come onto her. 'I hope they don't see us.'  
  
'See us? Honey, Christian could spot you out in a room of people who all looked like you. We haven't got a h- Oh no!'  
  
'What? What?!' Satine hissed frantically, not daring to turn around.  
  
'Father and Christian have both gone to the bar...they are ordering drinks....They're going back...walking...walking...They've seen us! Hide!' Phyl tried to disguise herself behind a pot plant. Satine looked at her shaking her head.  
  
'Oh, hello - Christian! Mr Helington!' Satine sounded generally shocked to see them. She stood up and Phyl stood next to her. 'W-What are you doing here?'  
  
'I was about to ask you that same question.' Christian folded his arms across his chest and looked at his wife.  
  
'Erm...' Satine looked helplessly at Phyl who just looked blank. 'This morning I woke up and realised that I had never been to one of these bars before. I thought that since I was supposed to be one of them then I'd better find out how they spend their time  
  
'Yes.' Phyl suddenly came to life. 'Today I was given an essay in English about bars in the rich parts of London. When Satine told me about her desire, we decided to kill two birds with one stone.' Gerald and Christian just looked at them, not convinced.  
  
'How can this moment get any worse?' Satine whispered under her breath. Suddenly the door flew open and about ten rowdy men walked in.  
  
'Satine, Phyl!' The front one shouted out, pleased to see them. 'We missed you last night.'  
  
'That's how.' Phyl replied. Gerald and Christian looked at them both, not amused. 'Oh, gosh, is that the time. We'd better get going. Come on, Satine.' Phyl grabbed her hand and pulled her towards the door. As they walked past the rowdy men they cheered. Just as they were about to leave, one of the men whom Christian and Gerald had been sitting with stood up and blocked their path.  
  
'Excuse me. Satine is it?' He asked, looking at her. She nodded. 'Pardon the intrusion but I was wondering if we could ask you a question.'  
  
'Certainly.' Satine said, unsure of what they were going to ask or whether she could answer.  
  
'Those two gentlemen, whom you obviously know, are trying to convince us to buy a property for us to use for business that is in a not very nice part of London. Frankly, they aren't doing very good convincing. Maybe you could tell us why we should buy.' He sat down again. By now the bar had gone silent as they waited for Satine's answer.  
  
'When I was growing up I came from a stuffy, upper-middle class family. I had everything I could ever want until one day it was all taken away by one man. I suddenly led the life of a lower class person and I loved it. Not what I did, obviously, but my lifestyle. I didn't have to curtsey, smile politely or try and remember which fork I should be eating with at dinner. I could be myself. A little while ago I came back to a stuffy, upper-middle class family. But this time I see it from a better angle. I've had the chance to see life from the other perspective. Some would say it was the bad perspective but I say it's the better one. Until you've had to live at the same level as the homeless, you don't appreciate what you have. On the surface I am a stuffy, upper-middle class lady but underneath I am one of them. The people who you describe as not very nice are people who are no different from your or I. They laugh, they cry, they have houses, they fall in love and they grieve. We shouldn't allow money to get in the way of that. I guess what I'm trying to say is...don't judge people until you've had a chance to see it from their view.'  
  
There was silence and the two men looked at each other. The man who had spoken previously stood up. Then he started to clap and everyone joined in except Satine, Gerald and Christian. He looked at Satine and then over at Gerald and Christian who were standing nervously.  
  
'Mr Helington,' Gerald looked up, 'I don't know how you know this woman but she does a better job than you at convincing people...Congratulations, Satine, you've got a deal.' He shook her hand. Satine grinned and turned to look at Christian. He gave her a thumbs up and she knew he had forgiven her.  
  
A/N: At the moment the chapters just seem to be on their own. If anyone could give me an idea which could be carried out for several chapters then I would be most grateful. 


	14. Just when everything was going well

Starting Over Just when everything was going well...  
  
'Thank you, sir. Have a nice day!' Satine smiled cheerily at the customer as he left. Ducking down, she busied herself under the counter.  
  
'Hey, sweetie!' A voice came out cheerily. Satine popped up quickly, banging her head as she did so.  
  
'Ow!' She said, rubbing her head. Christian grinned at her.  
  
'Poor you! Come 'ere.' She leaned foward and he kissed it. 'Better?'  
  
'Much. What brings you here?'  
  
'My father's secretary, Betty, is leaving so I have come to pick up some flowers that were ordered.'  
  
'And I thought you came here to see me!' Satine teased. She walked back to the opening that went up a flight of stairs and into the staff area. 'Frank!' She called up the steps. Patiently, she leaned against the wall beside the door and grinned at Christian, waiting for a reply.  
  
'Yea?' Came a muffled reply.  
  
'Are there any flowers in the name of....' Satine looked questioningly at Christian.  
  
'Ardel.' He whispered.  
  
'Ardel?' Satine shouted out.  
  
'I think so. Hang on, I'll come down.' There was a bang and then footsteps on the stairs. A young man, in his early twenties came through the opening. He was medium height with brown hair and brown eyes. He had a cheeky grin and a twinkle in his eye.  
  
'I didn't see any orders in the book this morning.' Satine explained as he began to look under the desk.  
  
'Ok....Nope, nope....How strange, not here.' He stood up and scratched his head. 'I remember taking an order for an Ardel....' He trailed off, gazing out of the window. 'Oh no! I'm not here!' He whispered frantically before ducking down between Satine and the counter. Satine looked at him. There was a cough and Satine looked up, smiling a false smile.  
  
'Mrs Weathers! What a pleasant surprise. We haven't seen you since this morning.'  
  
'Yes, dear. Is my son in?'  
  
'Who, Frank? Nooo, he popped out for a moment. He should be back any moment....ow!' She exclaimed as he pinched her.  
  
'Are you alright?'  
  
'Absolutely fine. I've just got a bit of cramp in my arm.' Satine stretched her arms out and then smile brightly. 'When Frank gets back I'll tell him you came.'  
  
'Well, make sure you do.' Mrs Weathers looked at her sceptically. 'Bye bye, dear.'  
  
'Bye!' Satine waved cheerily until she was out of sight. Then her face changed. 'You can come out now.' She said to Frank. Frank popped his head back up.  
  
'Thank you, so much. By the way, I found the Ardel order. I'd written it on a piece of paper and just stuck it down here. I'll get it ready for you now.' He stood up and walked through another door which led to the flowers.  
  
***  
  
A few minutes later he returned with a beautiful spray of pink, red and purple flowers. Christian smiled and Frank took this to mean that he liked them. Carefully, he wrapped them up and then Christian handed over some money.  
  
'I'll see you later, honey.' Christian said. Satine nodded absentmindedly, she was looking at some papers. He kissed her cheek and left. Just as he left another man entered. Satine gasped, recognising him. Frank looked around just as she disappeared from sight. She sat down on the step and listened.  
  
'I'd like some flowers, trees and bushes for my new house.' A nasally voice said. It couldn't be, could it?  
  
'The Duke's going to kill Christian.' Harold's words came flooding back to her. If he saw her....It wasn't even worth thinking about. The night she left with Christian she had been so happy that she completely forgot to mention it. He probably hasn't forgotten, she thought bitterly.  
  
'...Of course, sir. What address would you like them delivered to?'  
  
'141 Woodstock Road.' That was the house next to theirs. If she thought it would be difficult to avoid him, now it would be impossible.  
  
Her train of thought was interrupted by Frank sitting next to her.  
  
'I saw you. Want to tell me what happened?'  
  
Satine drew a deep breath. 'I met Christian when I was working at the Moulin Rouge....'  
  
'You were a...?' Frank gestured with his hand.  
  
'Yes but you have to understand that I'm not like that.' Frank nodded, he could imagine. No way would he imagine Satine as a courtesan. 'That man that came in is a duke. He believed that I loved him because I was flirting with him but I only did that to keep him onside. I really loved Christian and when the Duke found out he threatened to have him killed. Fortunately, I managed to get him away but I didn't tell him. Now the Duke is here, I'm afraid that he's going to kill him.'  
  
'Wow!' Frank said after a moment. 'That's quite a...pickle.'  
  
'But that's not the best thing....He's moved in next door.'  
  
Frank thought for a moment. 'I have a friend in the police force. If you want, I can dig some dirt up on him.'  
  
'Would you really do that?' Satine asked excitedly.  
  
'Of course. Just give me a few days.' Satine nodded and threw her arms around him.  
  
***  
  
Phyl lifted up the curtain and peered outside. Then she lowered it and looked at Christian who was reading the paper and sipping a cup of coffee.  
  
'That is the weirdest couple I have ever seen.'  
  
'Hmmm?'  
  
'There's a tall bloke who's bald and looks like a bit of a thug and a short bloke with ginger-blond hair and moustache.' Christian quickly dropped his newspaper and went over to where his sister was.  
  
'Show me.' He demanded. Phyl obligingly lifted the curtain. Christian gasped. It was him. Where was Satine? Was she out still? If she was and he saw her....  
  
'Boo!' She touched his shoulders quickly, making him jump. Christian wrapped her in an embrace, as if by doing so he could keep the Duke from getting to her.  
  
'Darling, there's something I need to tell you...' How was he going to let her know?  
  
'I see you've seen our new neighbours.' Satine commented, peering out of the window.  
  
'How did you know?'  
  
'He came into the centre just after you left.'  
  
'Did he recognise you?'  
  
'I left before he had a chance.'  
  
'Excuse me, could you please tell me what's going on?' Phyl asked.  
  
***  
  
'...So that is basically what happened.' Christian finished up twenty minutes later.  
  
'I never knew you had it in you!' Phyl looked admiringly at her brother.  
  
'What?'  
  
'Well, you don't seem the sort of person who, no offence Satine, would go out with a tart.' She quickly hurried on, noting the murderous look on his face. 'You seem like the kind of man who would go out with someone with less attitude, more quiet, more sensible like a....'  
  
'Librarian.' Satine supplied. Phyl creased up with laughter. 'No offence, honey, but when I first met you....'  
  
'Well, thank you very much!' He said, stomping over to the chair. Satine tried to hide a smile.  
  
'Is that the whole story?' Phyl asked.  
  
'Yes.'  
  
'No.' Satine said quietly. Christian looked up at her in surprise.  
  
'What do you mean, Satine?' He crossed over to her.  
  
'After I left you to go and pack Harold came and found me. He told me that the Duke was going to have you killed.'  
  
'Killed?' Christian asked, not believing it.  
  
'Yes. I was going to tell you but when I saw how happy you were, I completely forgot. That part of my life is over and I erased it from my memory. When I saw him again it came flooding back. Are you mad?'  
  
'Oh, honey,' he drew his arm around her, 'I could never be angry at you. We have to move away from here.'  
  
'Why do we have to move? I'm sick of running.'  
  
'I'm not going to have him hurt you. That is the reason he wants to kill me - to get to you.' That hit her like a hammer. She hadn't realised that before. Then she remembered - that night. He had wanted to hurt her.  
  
'Satine!' Frank burst into the room. They hadn't even heard the bell ring and the maid answer it. 'I've got something!'  
  
Wiping the tears from her eyes, she looked at him. 'What?'  
  
'The duke but we can only catch him with your help.'  
  
'Go on.' Satine said bravely. She would do whatever it takes. 


	15. End This Nightmare

Starting Over End This Nightmare  
  
Satine drew the brush through her hair, bringing it to the end, before starting again. In the mirror she could see Christian sitting on the bed watching her.  
  
'It's going to be ok.' She said, sensing that was what he was thinking.  
  
'No it isn't.' Christian voiced quietly. Satine rose and went over to sit next to him. 'We've already been through this.'  
  
'Yes but that was to save the Moulin Rouge. This is to save you, to save us.' Christian made no response. Satine drew her arms around him and he put his head on her shoulder, breathing in her scent. 'You know what you've got to do?'  
  
'Yes. I love you so much.'  
  
'I love you too.' Satine told him. They moved together and Christian captured his lips with hers with such an urgency that Satine knew how much he was hurting. She kissed his nose and then looked at the clock. It was time.  
  
***  
  
Drawing her breath, Satine extended her hand, her finger poised. She brought it back, she couldn't quite do it. Glancing at the house she saw Phyl smiling at her and in the background were Christian and two policeman. Seeing him made her determined.  
  
Ding-dong!  
  
The door opened and there stood the Duke. Satine flashed her best Sparkling Diamond smile at him. He smiled back and Satine shuddered.  
  
'Hello, dear. Won't you come in.'  
  
'Why, thank you, Duke.' Satine smiled charmingly at him. Quickly, she glanced sideways at Phyl but the Duke saw the action.  
  
'Actually, I've had a spontaneous change of plan.'  
  
'What do you mean?' Satine asked nervously.  
  
'We're going out.' He said, grabbing her arm and dragging her down the steps.  
  
***  
  
Phyl watched as the Duke pulled Satine down the street.  
  
'We have a problem.' She announced. Christian and the policemen rushed over and Phyl pointed out the two figures. Christian could feel his anger boil up. Even though he hadn't wanted her to go through it at least if she was next door he could rescue her quicker. Now he didn't know where she was.  
  
'Let's go.' A policeman said. 'Stay behind us at all times and don't shout out.' This was directed at Christian who nodded numbly.  
  
***  
  
'Where are we going?' Satine asked as she hurried along. The duke still had hold of her wrist and was practically running so Satine had to run to keep up with him.  
  
'Never you mind.' He snarled. Satine yanked her hand out of his grip. Automatically, he whirled around, slapping her on the cheek. Crying out in pain, she fell to the ground. 'That was very stupid of you. Don't try it again.'  
  
'Why are you doing this?'  
  
'Because I own you. You belong to me.'  
  
'I belong to no one except me. You can't buy someone.'  
  
'Yes I can.' He pulled her up and tried to push her along but Satines stood her ground.  
  
'No you can't! Just because you have money doesn't mean you have more rights. You are a sad, lonely man who will never have anyone. I have Christian who loves me and-' She was cut off by the a hand striking her across the face. She stumbled backwards and the Duke took this to be his chance. He climbed on top of her, attempting to pull her clothes off.... Desperately, Satine kicked out. It had an effect of two seconds before the Duke threw her head onto the tarmac. Everything went black. ***  
  
They had lost sight of them and were jogging along. Phyl looked into the park. She could see the Duke standing over Satine who was lying on the ground.  
  
'Look!' She cried, pointing. Everyone looked and began to run. The policemen reached the Duke and handcuffed him first. Christian ran to Satine who was still unconscious. He pulled her into a sitting position and cradled her head.  
  
'What have you done to her?!' He screamed at the Duke.  
  
'Only what that tart deserves.' He smiled sickeningly.  
  
'Why you-' He let go of Satine and flew towards him. A policeman held his hand out, telling him to stop. Christian knew it wouldn't help Satine and went back to her. Phyl was holding her hand and talking softly to her but still she made no response. Christian picked her up and carried his wife back to the house.  
  
***  
  
Satine tried to push him off her but it was no use. She closed her eyes and prayed it would be over....  
  
'AAAAAARRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHH!' Satine sat bolt up right and let out a bloodcurdling scream. It took Christian two seconds to reach her side.  
  
'Satine...Satine, it's alright.' He tried to hold her close but she tried to squirm out of his grip.  
  
'No, no, no, no!' She repeated the word over and over, pounding his chest with her hands. He refused to let her go and soon she gave up. Leaning against him, she let out long sobs.  
  
'Sssh, it's alright, darling.' He whispered soothingly, stroking her hair. He gazed down at her. What's he done to you? He thought sadly.  
  
*** 


	16. Travelling

Starting Over Travelling  
  
'Dear Satine,  
  
How are you, darling? Harold and I are doing fine. We heard about the incident with the Duke and we just wanted to say how proud of you we are. I've always seen you as a daughter and I know Harold feels the same. When you came to us you were this scared little girl but now you've grown up so much. I know in the past it seemed different but I've realised how much you mean to me. The Moulin Rouge has changed so much since you left. We have now kept it permanently as a theatre and you can no longer feel the coldness as you walk in. We've all missed you so much and would love you to come back and visit. You can bring those people you've been raving on about - Phyl, James and Peter. And, of course, Ed - we want to meet your brother.  
  
Hope to hear from you soon.  
  
Marie x'  
  
That letter arrived four days after the 'incident'. Satine immediately showed it to Christian who was a bit skeptical about going. He was afraid that it would dig up too many memories for her. She insisted that it would be good for her, that it would be like a holiday. After much pleading on her part, as well as Phyl's, he finally gave in. That was how, at 12.30 on Saturday, they were standing at London Victoria station. The group travelling were Christian, Satine, Phyl, James, Peter and Ed but Gerald, Kathleen and Frank had come to see them off.  
  
'Are you sure you can cope without me?' Satine asked Frank.  
  
'Of course I can. You take care of yourself, princess.' He said, using his pet name for her.  
  
'I'm only gone for ten days.' She told him. Then she pulled him into a hug. They had become close friends. A whistle sounded and they broke apart. Everyone started hugging and Kathleen was giving each of them instructions.  
  
Their suitcases were already on board so all they had were little bags. Christian picked up Satine's and James carried Phyl's. The two women walked on ahead, joining the back of the queue. The ticket man took the tickets and looked at them.  
  
'Is this the whole party?' He asked. Satine turned to see that everyone was there and nodded. 'Your compartment is number 17. If you walk towards the front of the train you will find it about half way down. The dining car is in the opposite direction.' He said, pointing to the carriage on the end. 'If you need anything, don't hesitate to ask any of our competent staff. Enjoy your journey!'  
  
'Thank you.' Satine smiled politely and started walking in the direction they had been told, with everyone following her.  
  
***  
  
It was a cosy little compartment with two rows of springy, red velvet seats. Little brass lights were situated in the four corners and a window was directly opposite the door with a curtain that could be drawn if desired. There was also a curtain across the door.  
  
After the train had been travelling for a few minutes, everyone settled down. The four men had gone in search of something to drink, leaving Satine and Phyl in the compartment. They returned with a waiter who was carrying a tray of drinks for them. Sitting on the floor were Satine and Phyl, playing an intense game of Slam. Satine jumped up when the door opened.  
  
'Might as well stop now, the drinks are here.'  
  
'You're only saying that because you're losing.' Phyl said.  
  
'Noooo. I just think this is a good time to stop.' Phyl smiled to herself and collected the cards up.  
  
'Will there be anything else?' The waiter asked.  
  
'No, thank you.' Christian handed the waiter a tip and he bowed and left. Settling himself next to Satine, he poured himself a drink. He took her hand from her lap and laced his fingers through it. Satine smiled at him and gave his hand a light squeeze before carrying on with her conversation.  
  
'What's Montmatre like?' Peter asked curiously. He took a sip of drink. 'I mean, you read things in books and they are all negative.'  
  
'Do you believe everything the books say about London?'  
  
'No because they don't see London the way I see it.'  
  
'Exactly. The people who wrote those books say the people are unfriendly and bad. How do you expect people to behave if you act all superior to them? I think Montmatre is one of the nicest places in Paris. You are all in the same situation so no one else puts people down. Well, apart from certain people.' Satine said, referring to Nini.  
  
'When I came to Montmatre everyone was so helpful and friendly and I fell in love with it straight away.' Christian piped up.  
  
'No dear, you fell in love with me.' Satine said, patting his arm. Everyone giggled. Christian blushed but he was also smiling.  
  
***  
  
The train arrived in Dover half an hour before the ferry was due to leave. They decided to board early and get settled into their cabins. Because of the short notice in booking the cabins, they had only managed to aquire two - a four bed and two bed. Unfortunately, they were also on different levels. After much discussion it was decided that the men would have one room and the ladies would have another. Christian and Satine weren't happy about this but agreed that it wouldn't be fair on Phyl to share a room with three men. The ferry was to travel quite slowly. They were leaving at 4.15 and arriving in Calais at 11.30, local time, the next morning. Their train to Paris was departing at 1, giving them a chance to look around Calais. They hoped to arrive in Paris at 2.30.  
  
The ship's horn blasted. Satine looked at Phyl and grinned. Grabbing her hand, she pulled her out of the cabin and up the steps to the deck. The others were already up there, so they squeezed in next to them and began waving and shouting good bye to people, most of whom they didn't know. Once all the excitement was over and everyone drifted back to their cabins, the six turned to each other.  
  
'How about after you girls get ready, we meet in our cabin before going to dinner.' Ed suggested.  
  
'Why your cabin?' Phyl wanted to know, crossing her arms. Ed and James looked at each other.  
  
'Because it's bigger, nearer to the dining room and, well, better than yours.' James said seriously.  
  
'Are you listening to this, Satine?' Phyl turned to her sister-in-law. 'Typical!'  
  
Satine broke away from Christian and turned around. 'What?' She asked, distractedly.  
  
'Come on, Juliet.' Phyl said, rolling her eyes. She took Satine by the arm and gently led her away.  
  
'You have 43 minutes.' Peter called after them.  
  
'Pardon?' Phyl said, looking at her brother.  
  
'That's how long they can spend apart before they go insane. I timed it once.' Everyone fell about laughing except Christian and Satine.  
  
'Oh ha ha!' Satine said sarcastically. But deep down she knew it was true.  
  
***  
  
42 minutes later Satine and Phyl were standing outside the men's cabin, ready to knock. The door was opened by James who was dressed smartly in a tuxedo. He gave a low whistle.  
  
'You look absolutely lovely.'  
  
'Hey, hands off!' Christian called from the bathroom. Everyone giggled and as he came out of the bathroom, he gave his brother a smile to let him know he was just joking. However, he probably wasn't. He was fiercely protective of Satine but in a sweet way rather than an annoying one. He always tried to go with her when she went out and in the house he liked keeping tabs on her. Sometimes Satine and Phyl would play a trick on him and hide somewhere but most of the time she wanted him to know where she was.  
  
'Are we all ready to go?' Ed asked standing by the door. When everyone nodded, he turned the handle and held it open while everyone walked through. James escorted Phyl to the dining room and Satine was escorted by Christian, obviously. They found their table and sat down.  
  
The meal was absolutely lovely even if it did take forever to eat. Two hours after they sat down they were just beginning dessert. Satine had decided she couldn't possibly eat anymore so just sat politely and watched the others dig into their cake.  
  
'This is absolutely delightful.' Peter said. Everyone nodded in agreement.  
  
'Want to try some, darling?' Christian asked, holding a piece of cake between his fingers out to her. Satine leaned foward and he gently popped it into her mouth.  
  
'Mmmm.' She said after a few moments.  
  
'Want some more?' He offered but she shook her head. Satine didn't usually refuse cake. 'Are you feeling ok?'  
  
'Wha-? I'm fine. I think I'm going to have a little lie down.' Satine said, rising slowly.  
  
'Do you want me to come with you?' Christian asked, looking rather concered.  
  
'No, I'll be fine. You lot enjoy yourselves.' She walked out slowly, Christian watching her every move.  
  
***  
  
Satine gingerly lay down on the bed, closing her eyes. Her stomach really hurt. The last time it had hurt this much had been.... Satine closed her eyes, remembering. She didn't know if she could cope if it was this again. She didn't know if she was pregnant or not. Moaning slightly, she hoped Phyl would come soon.  
  
'What's the matter?' Phyl asked as she walked in twenty minutes later.  
  
'I think it's happening again.' Satine moaned. Phyl looked at her and then realised what she meant. Quickly, Phyl ran out in search of the doctor.  
  
Twenty minutes later Phyl returned with the doctor and Christian in tow. Phyl and Christian had been told to wait outside while the doctor examined her.  
  
'You don't look very excited.' Phyl commented on her brother's face.  
  
'I am but...what if it's his?' He asked. Phyl didn't know how to answer that, she just hoped it wasn't.  
  
'How far along am I, doctor?' Satine asked once he had finished his examination.  
  
'I'd say about six weeks. Could be more but definitely not any less.' Satine sighed in relief. 'Do you want your husband to come in?'  
  
'Yes, and Phyl as well.' The doctor opened the door and Phyl and Christian walked in. Satine recognised the look on his face.  
  
'Six weeks.' She told him, before he had a chance to ask. His face broke into a grin.  
  
'We're having a baby?' He asked in a boyish manner. Satine smiled at his sweetness.  
  
'Yes, we are.' Satine told him. They smiled at each other, the realisation hitting them. 


	17. Wait For Me

Starting Over Wait For Me  
  
At 2.30 on Sunday they arrived at Paris station. The entire train journey had been spent with Satine sitting on Christian's lap, making up for spending the night apart. Neither of them had realised how much they would miss each other. Everyone gathered in the men's cabin once Satine felt well enough. Christian and Satine rested in each other's arms on his bed, watching the others play poker. Reluctantly, after a few hours, Christian walked Satine and Phyl back to their cabin. Phyl locked herself in the bathroom whilst the lovers said goodbye. Satine settled down on her bed, leaning against the pillows.  
  
'Are you going to be alright?' Christian asked, sitting on the bed facing her.  
  
'I'm sure I'll be fine. Phyl's here to look after me.'  
  
'This is the first night we've spent apart since we've been married. Well, the first when we haven't been fighting or you in hospital.'  
  
'I have your t-shirt to sleep in.' Satine said, producing a t-shirt from under her pillow.  
  
'Where'd you get that from?' Christian asked. He didn't know she had it.  
  
'I took it from your suitcase....Here.' She handed him a small bear. He looked at inquisitively. 'For you to hug when you're missing me.'  
  
'You still here?' Phyl asked as she returned from the bathroom in her nightdress. The lovers knew that they had to part ways now. They pulled each other into a tight embrace, not wanting to let go. They tenderly kissed, knowing it would have to last them until morning. Placing a gentle kiss on her forehead, Christian rose and left, saying goodbye to his sister on the way. As he closed the door he whisperd 'I love you'. Satine went into the bathroom, washed and put Christian's t-shirt on, the smell of him coming off. She held it to her and inhaled deeply. The lights had already been turned off so Satine quietly slipped into bed, wrapping the covers tightly around her, trying to recreate the feeling of Christian.  
  
***  
  
As they walked the short journey to Montmatre, Satine and Christian pointed out the different things.  
  
'That was my garret.' Christian said, pointing up to a window. He smiled at Satine, remembering their times there. Things had changed so much.  
  
'Is that the Moulin Rouge?' Phyl asked. Satine turned to see where she was looking.  
  
'Yes. Come on, I'll introduce you to Harold, Marie and the others.'  
  
The main hall was bustling with people. They were rehearsing for the evening's performance. Satine closed her eyes, remembering the last time she had been there. Sitting on a chair was Chocolat. Sneaking up behind him, Christian tapped him on the shoulder.  
  
'Master Christian!' Chocolat said excitedly, standing up and embracing the man. 'How are you?'  
  
'I'm good.'  
  
'Harold said you and Satine were coming. Where is she?' He asked, glancing around. Christian pointed to Satine who had gone over to the girls.  
  
'Come and meet some people.' Christian pulled him over to his siblings and Ed who were standing awkwardly at the back. 'Chocolat, this is James, Peter and Phyl - my brothers and sister. This is Ed, Satine's brother. Everyone, this is Chocolat.'  
  
'Pleased to meet you.' Chocolat greeted them all with a handshake.  
  
'You too.' Ed glanced at Christian. 'I'm just going to see Satine.' He wandered off.  
  
'Was it something I said?' Chocolat asked worriedly.  
  
'No. He's just a bit funny about coming here. Y'know where Satine was...' Even he couldn't bring himself to say it. Chocolat nodded.  
  
'Hey Chocolat.' Satine smiled at him. He swept her into a massive embrace.  
  
'Hey Missy. You haven't been getting into any trouble, have you?' He asked as he set her down.  
  
'Me?! Of course not!' She smiled at him. 'I'm just going to go and see Harold, ok?'  
  
Christian nodded. 'I'll see you in a few minutes.' Satine kissed his cheek and then went in the direction of Harold's office.  
  
***  
  
'Harold?' Satine called quietly, peering her head round the door. Harold was sitting, hunched over his desk writing furiously. She stepped into the room but he didn't look up. Finally, she let the door close with a bang. Startled, Harold looked up.  
  
'Sweetpea!' He said cheerily, jumping up. He ran to her and gave her a hug. 'How are you?'  
  
'I'm fine. How are you? You seem a bit distracted.'  
  
'Who, me? Nah, I'm fine. Marie!' He called out. Marie came through a little opening 'Look who's arrived.'  
  
'Satine!' Marie squealed, pulling her to her. Satine smiled. It was so nice being back with her 'parents'. 'How are you?'  
  
'I'm pregnant - just found out yesterday.'  
  
'Darling, that is fantastic!' Marie hugged her again. 'Isn't it fantastic, Harold?'  
  
'Hmmm?...Oh, yes, fantastic. Congratulations, sweetheart.' He kissed her cheek.  
  
'Thanks.' Satine looked at him. She could tell there was something wrong but didn't know what. She was determined to find out.  
  
***  
  
The curtain closed and the hall filled with thunderous applause. Christian, Satine, Phyl, James, Peter and Ed were sitting second row from the front in the best seats. They were cheering as loudly as everyone else. Harold appeared through the velvet curtain and held his hands up to silence the crowd.  
  
'In the audience tonight is a very special person. We haven't seen her in a long time and she has changed so much. You've known her as 'The Sparkling Diamond....' Satine slid down in her seat, blushing furiously.  
  
'Nice nickname.' Phyl whispered.  
  
'....But tonight, I introduce her to you as - Satine! Come up here, Satine!' Everyone cheered loudly.  
  
'Go on, darling.' Christian said, kissing her cheek. It was almost as if she needed his permission because then she stood up and made her way up onto the stage.  
  
'Hello, Harold.' She said, kissing his cheek.  
  
'Hello. Now, will you sing for us? We are all used to you singing but we haven't heard you for ages.'  
  
'Of course.' The curtains opened again to reveal that the set had been cleared away and the orchestra was there in place. They started to play and Satine slowly moved in time with the music.  
  
'Darling did you know that I  
  
I dream about you.  
  
Waiting for the look in your eyes  
  
When we meet for the first time.  
  
And darling did you know that I  
  
I pray about you.  
  
Praying that you will hold on  
  
Keep your loving eyes only for me.  
  
Cos I am waiting for  
  
Praying for you, darling  
  
Wait for me, too  
  
Wait for me as I wait for you  
  
Cos I am waiting for  
  
Praying for you, darling  
  
Wait for me, too  
  
Wait for me as I wait for you  
  
Darling, wait.  
  
Darling did you know I dream about life together  
  
Knowing it will be forever  
  
I'll be yours and you'll be mine.  
  
And darling when I say  
  
"Til death do us part"  
  
I mean it with all of my heart  
  
Now and always, faithful to you.  
  
Cos I am waiting for  
  
Praying for you, darling  
  
Wait for me, too  
  
Wait for me as I wait for you  
  
Cos I am waiting for  
  
Praying for you, darling  
  
Wait for me, too  
  
Wait for me as I wait for you.  
  
Now I know you may have made mistakes  
  
But there's forgiveness and a second chance.  
  
So wait for me, darling  
  
Wait for me  
  
Wait for me.  
  
Cos I am waiting for  
  
Praying for you, darling  
  
Wait for me, too  
  
Wait for me as I wait for you  
  
Cos I am waiting for  
  
Praying for you, darling  
  
Wait for me, too  
  
Wait for me as I wait for you.  
  
Darling, wait.  
  
Wait for me.'  
  
The applause rang in Satine's ears as she took her bow. As she looked over the sea of faces, she finally realised what she had wanted. She had wanted to show everyone that she wasn't just 'The Sparkling Diamond' and she had done that. Finally her eyes rested on Christian, and suddenly the world seemed like such a perfect place.  
  
(A/N: Song used - Wait For Me by Rebbecca St. James) 


	18. All You Got

Starting Over All You Got  
  
It was their last night in Montmatre, they had been there for two weeks. They had decided to go and see the play again as a way of finishing their visit. Once again they were sitting near the front. As the curtain finally fell and the applause started, Chocolat stepped through. The crowd hushed.  
  
'We have some friends who have come over from London and it's their last night with us.'  
  
'Aaaahhh!' A sympathetic sound came from the audience.  
  
'And one of those friends is a very important lady to me. We were trying to think of what to get her to say thank you for all the years of friendship she has given us. Finally we decided that nothing materialistic could do it so we wrote a song for her. Take it away, Satie!'  
  
The orchestra started to play. 'This is for you, Satine.'  
  
'I heard you say that no one seems to care 'bout you,  
  
It's in your eyes, you think that life's unfair to you,  
  
Just give it all you got, my friend,  
  
Just give it all you got, it's not the end.  
  
Cos you ougtha know  
  
There's a reason for these changing seasons  
  
God only knows how much your heart can bear  
  
So don't you let go  
  
Everybody has their up and down times  
  
Everybody needs to know how much their loved, my friend  
  
So hold on, it's not the end.  
  
As I remember everything you touch  
  
Would turn to gold,  
  
You held the secrets  
  
To make your grandest dreams unfold,  
  
You were the very best of us all  
  
But the sun that rises still falls  
  
Yea you oughta know.  
  
Cos you ougtha know  
  
There's a reason for these changing seasons  
  
God only knows how much your heart can bear  
  
So don't you let go  
  
Everybody has their up and down times  
  
Everybody needs to know how much their loved, my friend  
  
So hold on, it's not the end.  
  
It's just a love song  
  
Cos everybody needs a friend  
  
I'll be right here for you  
  
It's just a simple prayer  
  
From the bottom of my heart  
  
That he'll never let you go.  
  
Cos you ougtha know  
  
There's a reason for these changing seasons  
  
God only knows how much your heart can bear  
  
So don't you let go  
  
Everybody has their up and down times  
  
Everybody needs to know how much their loved, my friend  
  
So hold on, it's not the end.'  
  
Satine had tears in her eyes as she ran up the steps and flung her arms around her oldest friend. He was the one who always looked out for her and even now she had Christian, she knew he would never stop.  
  
'Thank you so much.' She whispered through her tears. 'You have no idea how much that means to me.'  
  
'I think I do.' He said, remembering the look on her face when Christian sang to her. 'Don't be away for so long next time.'  
  
'I won't.' She promised. 'I will write to you.'  
  
'Make sure you do.' Chocolat kissed her cheek lightly.  
  
'Darling?' Christian stepped up beside them. 'It's time to go.'  
  
'Let me go and say goodbye to Harold and Marie.' She said and hurried off to find them.  
  
***  
  
Everyone was sitting in the carriage, waiting for Satine to come out. They had decided to get a carriage back to the station because it was a lot colder than when they had arrived and they had managed to aquire two extra suitcases of gifts. Finally a red headed figure came out, bundled up against the snow. She jumped up into the carriage and settled herself in the corner next to Peter. No one said anything as they slipped through the streets. Satine gazed out of the window, a tear trickled down her cheek. Even though she had left before, this time was different. This time she was leaving under happy circumstances.  
  
Christian bit his lip as he saw Satine crying. He hated to see her like this, it broke his heart. What he wouldn't give just to hold Satine but he knew Satine wouldn't like it. Working at the Moulin Rouge had caused her to put a front on. She hardly ever cried in front of anyone, always slipping away to be by herself. Christian didn't see one tear fall from her eyes until the day before the wedding. They had been talking when suddenly Satine burst into tears, confessing all about the Duke. After she had calmed down she explained that Harold had told her crying made you look weak, which was why she only allowed herself to cry in private. Slowly, Satine began to be more open about her emotions but only in front of Christian since he already knew her inside out. Only when she was really upset would Satine cry in front of anyone else.  
  
The carriage arrived at the station and Satine jumped out, jamming her hands into her pockets. The air was cold and as she breathed out, it appeared as if smoke was coming from her mouth. The driver approached her.  
  
'I've sent your luggage onto your train, Ma'am.'  
  
'Thank you. My husband will pay you.'  
  
'Yes, Ma'am.' The driver went up to Christian who handed him some notes.  
  
'Thank you for the lift.' Christian told him. The driver nodded and got back into his carriage. 'Let's go! It's absolutely freezing.'  
  
'My sentiments exactly.' Phyl muttered, pulling her coat tighter around her.  
  
***  
  
The 11.46 Paris to Calais train was practically empty. Only a few compartments were occupied. They were well lit but freezing. Everyone still had their coats, scarfs and hats on.  
  
'Why is it so cold?' Phyl asked through chattering teeth.  
  
'I don't know.' James replied, peering up and down the corridor. 'Here comes the guard.'  
  
'I'm terribly sorry about the cold but I'm afraid the heating's broken. Here are some blankets and the dining room is absolutely free.' He handed some blankets to James and then went to the next compartment.  
  
'Free food?' Peter asked.  
  
'Let's go!' Satine said. This was an opportunity not to be missed.  
  
***  
  
Nearly everyone was in the dining car. All the warm food that was being ordered created a makeshift heater. The train suddenly plunged into a tunnel and it became a lot darker outside because before there was the light from the stars. The train chugged along nicely in the tunnel, going quite fast. There was a screeching and the train suddenly braked, skidding on the tracks. Things began to shake and everyone looked around, trying to work out where it was coming from. The shaking became more violent and a screaming went round from the women as the carriage seemed to collapse on one side with a bang and stopped. The whole train was plunged into darkness. 


	19. Stuck in the Tunnel

Starting Over Stuck in the Tunnel  
  
  
  
Christian opened his eyes and groaned slightly. He shifted slightly and looked around. He was lying on the floor of the dining car. Where was Satine? She had been next to him a few moments ago. Frantically, he sat up. She was lying in the doorway to the next carriage, not moving, her eyes closed and blood trickling down her face from her forehead. Unsteadily, Christian rose and made his way over to her. On the way he passed his brothers, sister and best friend. He would deal with them later but at the moment, Satine was his only concern.  
  
'S-Satine?' He said, his voice catching in his throat. He didn't know what he would do if..... Her eyes opened and she looked at him.  
  
'Christian!' She said weakly. A smile spread on her face. 'You were lying there before and I wanted to come to you but I....'  
  
'Ssssh.' He said. 'I'm just glad you're ok.' He sat down next to her and held her.  
  
'Is this your wife, sir?' A voice asked. They looked up. 'I'm Dr Nichols.'  
  
'Yes it is. I'm Christian and this is Satine.'  
  
'Hello, Satine. Why don't I sort you out. Christian, could you go and check on everyone else?' Christian nodded and went off quickly. The sooner he went around, the sooner he could get back to Satine.  
  
***  
  
Forty minutes later everyone had been seen to by the doctor. They were still in the dining car because they didn't know how safe any other part of the train was. Apart from the 6 of them there was the doctor, his wife - Elise, two young American men - Alfie and Felix, and a brother and sister - Herman and Heidi - from the French Alps who spoke no English. Satine had to translate for them. The doctor stood up.  
  
'I've been to check on the guard and driver and I'm afraid to say they are both dead. The cook, I think, was thrown from the train.'  
  
'So we're just by ourselves?' Alfie asked.  
  
'I'm afraid so. I have no idea where we are exactly.'  
  
'Isn't there a map somewhere?' James asked.  
  
'I think I saw one in the guard's van. I'll go and get it!' Felix hurried off and returned with a map. He spread it on an empty table and everyone crowded around. They stared for a few moments.  
  
'And where are we?' Phyl asked.  
  
'We are...'  
  
'You don't know do you?'  
  
'No.'  
  
'I know exactly where we are. We are here.'  
  
'That's South you, muppet! We're going North.'  
  
'Oh, yea!'  
  
Satine held up her hands for silence.  
  
'We left Paris at 11.46 and it is now 1.46. For the past forty minutes the doctor has been treating people and I reckon we were out of it for about ten minutes. That means that the crash occurred at 12.56. I'd say the train was travelling about about 75 kilometres an hour which means we have travelled about 87, 88 kilometres.' She closely studied the map. 'Now, Paris is here. So we must be...' She moved her finger up the map. '....here. How long were we in the tunnel for?'  
  
'Thirty seconds, if that.' James said.  
  
'Then that puts us exactly.....here.' Satine said, marking on the map. Everyone peered closely.  
  
'You know, she could be right.' Felix said. Hector said something in French and Heidi nodded along in agreement.  
  
'What did he say?' The doctor asked, glancing at Satine.  
  
'He said that their father helped to build this tunnel. They came up here one day and their father took them for a walk over the hill that the tunnel runs through. As they walked along Hector says he noticed some holes in the ground at regular intervals but then they suddenly stopped. That's as far as I've got.'  
  
'Asked him what happened next.' Phyl asked excitedly. Satine obeyed and they had a small conversation.  
  
'He asked his father what they were and his father said they were vents to allow the steam out but they hadn't been installed in the part of the tunnel we have been through because the ground was too hard. He says the snow probably came in through the vents, causing a snowdrift probably that stretches all the way up the rest of the tunnel.'  
  
'That's probably why the train came off the track.' Alfie said. Everyone nodded in agreement. The sound of a glass smashing made everyone turn around.  
  
Phyl was gaping at something on the wall. Everyone looked.  
  
'Come and travel on the Paris - Calais Express! The only train to travel at 100 km/h. Leaves every other hour from each station.'  
  
'That means....' Christian looked at his watch.  
  
'Twenty minutes.' Satine said solemnly.  
  
***  
  
Everything was in place. After quickly deciding a plan of action they hurried off. The men hurried off to find any source of light and the women to find red cloth. The plan was to put the lights down the tunnel, aiming at the pieces of red cloth that would be attached together. Red meant danger and hopefully the driver would see it and apply the breaks before there were any more accidents. Fifteen minutes later everything was ready. The lights surrounded the end of the train, which was still on the track and the red cloth was being held up. A rumbling began. It started quietly but then got louder and louder. Soon it seemed as if the whole tunnel was shaking, the train was rattling around behind them.  
  
'Here it comes!' Peter shouted as they saw the light appear. The train bore down on them, not appearing to be slowing.  
  
'It's not going to work! It's not going to work!' Elise screamed hysterically. Satine glanced sideways. There was still an extra piece of cloth. Dropping her piece, she picked it up and began running up the track towards the express, waving the piece of cloth and screaming.  
  
'SATINE!' Christian screamed at her but she couldn't hear him.  
  
'What the...' The engineer couldn't believe his eyes in front of him was a lady running towards the train. He looked beyond, in the distance he could see the back end of a train and some people holding a red cloth, screaming frantically.  
  
'Brake!'  
  
'What?'  
  
'BRAKE!' He shouted, pulling the lever. The wheels locked and there was a screeching noise.  
  
Satine stopped running but continued to wave her cloth. The train was looming closer and closer. She closed her eyes and looked away.  
  
***  
  
Opening one eye cautiously, she found herself staring at a huge dark green engine, only inches from her face. The train had managed to screech to a halt just a few seconds before hitting Satine. Christian had watched in horror, the colour draining from his face.  
  
'She did it! She did it!' Phyl shouted excitedly, jumping up and down. Christian looked and saw Satine standing there, perfectly unharmed. The driver and engineer jumped down and went up to Satine.  
  
'What do you think you're doing?! You could have been killed!' The driver shouted at her.  
  
'Yea, sorry about that. It's just our train came off the tracks and I didn't want you to run into the back of us.' She smiled sweetly at them and they seemed to soften.  
  
'Well, er, you did the right thing.' The engineer shifted uncomfortably as Satine eyed him up.  
  
'Will you be able to help us out?' Phyl came up to them and stood next to Satine.  
  
'Um...yes, yes.' The driver and engineer ogled at these two beautiful women in front of them. Satine glanced at Phyl who rolled her eyes. They were both used to it and both used these kind of situations to their advantage. The only person who did not like them doing this was Christian. He couldn't stand the thought of men thinking about his wife and sister like that. Noticing what was going on, he walked up to them and wrapped his arms around Satine.  
  
'Darling, are you alright?' He asked, kissing her lips momentarily.  
  
'Mmm. These kind gentleman are going to help us get out of here.' She smiled at them again and they blushed furiously.  
  
'Ah, shucks, it's nothing.' The driver told them. By now the few passengers that had been on the express train had jumped down to find out what was going on.  
  
'Look, are we going or not?' One man shouted.  
  
'I'm afraid our train has derailed so we have to go on your one.' Satine walked seductively up to him. 'Our luggage is still on it and my husband would get it off but he's still feeling a bit frail. Would you mind?'  
  
The man stared at her. 'N-No, no. Not at all.' He turned back. 'Come on!' He shouted to some other men and they eagerly ran to the train. Christian looked at her, unimpressed.  
  
'See, Christian. Flirting has it's advantages.' She smiled sweetly at him and, like the other men, he blushed furiously. 


	20. An Eventful Night

Starting Over An Eventful Night  
  
Satine placed a hand on her bump and rubbed it gently. She was in her ninth month of pregnancy and absolutely loving it. She loved the feel of it and the way it made her feel emotionally. She also loved the way Christian acted around her. The first time he had seen her bump he stared at her in awe, not believing that his child was in there. She still caught him staring at least once a day. He loved caressing her bump and kissing it and Satine loved it when he did it.  
  
Satine glanced at the clock. Christian would be finishing work soon. She had been stuck at home all day because the doctor had forbidden her to go to work for her entire pregnancy and Christian had enforced this. She glanced out of the window. It was such a lovely day and it would be a shame to miss it.  
  
'Hey, bub, shall we got meet Daddy?' She asked her bump. There was a slight kick, which Satine took as an agreement. Pushing herself off the couch, she went into the hall and put her coat on. Making sure she had her keys, she left the house and made her way towards the city centre.  
  
***  
  
Christian scribbled furiously on a piece of paper.  
  
'Working hard?' A voice said. Christian looked up to see Sam, a work colleague standing over him. 'Let's have a look?' He turned his head to read what Christian had written. 'Ah, yes...Working extremely hard.' All over the paper were written names.  
  
'Sorry, I'm trying to choose my favourite name for the baby.'  
  
'Oh, that's right...How long to go?'  
  
'Three weeks.'  
  
'How's Satine doing?'  
  
'She's a bit bored at home, the doctor has forbidden her from working.'  
  
'Speak of the devil.' Sam nodded down the corridor. Christian turned to see Satine walking towards them. His face broke into a smile.  
  
'Hey!' He said happily, wrapping his arms around her. He gave her a kiss and then caressed her bump.  
  
'Hey, you. Me and bub were bored so we decided to come and meet our favourite man.'  
  
'Well, I'm glad you did.' Christian guided her back gently and helped her into his chair. Satine sat down gratefully, the walk had been tiring.  
  
'When do you finish?' Satine asked as he gently rubbed her shoulders. Christian looked at Sam, who nodded.  
  
'I'm finished now, darling.' He helped her up and grabbed his coat. 'Thanks, Sam!' He called over his shoulder as the couple walked down the corridor, his hand resting on her back.  
  
***  
  
Satine's eyes flew open. She glanced nervously down, biting her lip. It happened again. Satine squeezed her eyes shut and breathed deeply. When it finally passed, she glanced at Christian who was still asleep.  
  
'Christian, wake up!' Satine whispered, shaking him frantically.  
  
'Wha-?' Christian mumbled, not really taking it in.  
  
'I think the baby's coming.'  
  
'That's nice.' Christian smiled sleepily and then rolled over. 'WHAT?!' He sat bolt upright and looked at her. 'Are you sure?'  
  
Satine grimaced in pain as another contraction hit. 'Positive.'  
  
'What...Why...How...?' Christian tried to speak but he couldn't get it out. He paced around the room, muttering to himself.  
  
'Go and fetch the doctor, darling, I'll figure the rest out.' Satine told him calmly. Christian shook himself from his trance and went over to her.  
  
'No, I want to stay with you.'  
  
'Christian, you HAVE to get the doctor. I'll still be here.'  
  
'I love you so much.'  
  
'I love you too.' She gave him a reassuring kiss. 'Now go!' She told him as another one came on. Christian didn't glance back, knowing that if he did he would have stayed.  
  
***  
  
'Attention! Attention!' Peter picked up his champagne flute and tapped the side. Everyone fell silent. 'Now then, it's been rather an eventful night with very little sleeping but I think we all have to agree that it has been worth it.'  
  
Everyone nodded in agreement. Christian smiled down at his wife who was beaming with pride. In her arms lay a tiny baby wrapped in a white blanket.  
  
'I know I am training to be a doctor but I never realised how painful childbirth was. Even though I wasn't in the room, the screaming said it all. And all I have to say is, I'm so glad I'm a man!' Everyone laughed. 'So, if you'd like to raise your glasses and join me in welcoming the newest member of our family, Jolene Mardi Helington.'  
  
'Jolene!' Everyone chorused, raising their glasses and taking a sip.  
  
'And also to her mad parents, let's hope they are as crazy about her as they are each other.'  
  
'Christian and Satine!' Everyone saluted them. Christian and Satine beamed with pride as they gazed at their daughter who lay asleep in her mother's arms. She flickered them open slightly and looked at her mother and then her father. Their hearts soared as they made a bond with their daughter. Then she gave a tiny yawn and fell asleep. 


End file.
